SEO and Awkward Surprising Nakedness

Sat with the dogs in our large bay window and watched the street sweeper go by this morning. After its second pass, the street was all sparkly in the rain. Very satisfying, because in Vallejo, for all of the 10 years we lived there, the street sweeper came through our neighborhood on garbage day. WHICH MADE NO SENSE AT ALL. Every week we would watch the street sweeper navigate around every single house’s three separate garbage cans. As garbage cans lined both sides of the street, it pretty much meant that every week the center strip of our street would get cleaned. Twice. I had several discussions with the powers-that-be in Vallejo over the years, but nothing ever changed.

Ah . . . Vallejo.

Unpacked Maj’s room today. She still had several large boxes of stuff in her closet, but refused my offers of help because she wanted to be in charge of the unpacking and placement of each item. I finally convinced her it would be easier to let me take it all out and arrange it without her. That way she would have access to all of her belongings, and have the added joy of getting to crab at me for my various inappropriate decisions regarding which items went where. I was (very) pleasantly surprised when she came home from school today, ran up her room, and then came running back down with a big smile and a “Thank you!”

Of all of the Maj treasures that I unpacked today, my favorites would have to be a set of two framed drawings she did when she was 3 years old. The first is a self-portrait, and the second is a drawing of our whole family. Every time I see those drawings, I am taken back to the days of pre-school Maj, and they always make me smile.

Hanging our artwork and photos helps me feel more like we belong here. Not as much as if I enjoyed skiing or snow-shoeing or river rafting, but every little bit helps. My neighbor gave me detailed directions to a favorite snow-covered mountain pass at which she thought I might like to go camping. In the winter. In the snow. I can’t think of anything I am less likely to be found doing in the winter snow than camping.

Except maybe posing nude.

A long time ago, Mark and I bought a small charcoal sketch at an art show. Nothing too scandalous – a seated nude woman in profile. It’s hung in our home ever since, and I have always liked it, despite the fact that I take offense every time someone asks me if the woman in the sketch is me. First of all, the woman is pretty round, and I don’t think of myself as round. Second of all . . . really????? People think that I am the sort of woman who would pose for a chubby nude sketch and then hang it in her hallway? Really???

Anyway, I hung her in our living room today, over in a corner of the room. I like her there, a little bit of “awkward surprising nakedness” while you sip your coffee. Those words a bit of sarcasm from Maj, who disapproves of the picture in general. She suggested the picture would be better in the basement bathroom.

Speaking of bathrooms . . . there are 4 bathrooms in this house, and only one bathtub. Because I don’t like showers, I have been taking baths in the girls’ bathroom tub, which has one of those sliding glass shower enclosures that runs along a track on the edge of the tub. If you’re taking a bath, there’s no real need to make use of those doors, but as I got out of the tub last night Jack was jumping around at my feet, threatening to hop into the bathtub water and make a big terrier mess. So I scooped him up with one hand and slid the door closed with the other. Revealing that the second (up until now hidden) half of the sliding door set was in fact a huge mirrored door. I so did not expect that.

Try to avoid this scenario in your own lives: Seeing yourself unexpectedly nude, sodden, and holding a small uncooperative dog. Talk about your awkward and surprising nakedness.

Another helpful tip: If you want help and advice about how to do blog-related computer stuff from your husband, whose career revolves around the internet and information technology, be prepared to hear a LOT about “search engine optimization” and “internet-based marketing” and “monetizing your blog.” Who knew there was such a huge vocabulary for things about which I care not at all? The idea that I would concern myself with “search engine optimization” (that’s SEO to those of us in the know) when I have about 20 readers makes me giggle.

I mentioned to Mark last night that I was going to include Kallan’s book summary in my post. So, in the interest of “monetizing my blog,” Mark signed me up as an Amazon Associate, which means that if you click on the link for The Trouble with Tuck: The Inspiring Story of a Dog Who Triumphs Against All Odds, you will be given the opportunity to purchase said book for just $5.99. I have no idea how he did that; as far as I’m concerned, that’s like a little bit of magic.

Mark was a little dismayed later in the evening when he actually read what I had posted concerning Kallan’s opinions on The Trouble with Tuck: The Inspiring Story of a Dog Who Triumphs Against All Odds. He pointed out that no one in their right mind would buy the book based on Kallan’s review. To which I can only say, in a word lifted from Kallan’s review, “Duh.”