Mark wandered by my desk last night and stopped, as if taking in the spectacle for the very first time. “Don’t you find it difficult to work with all of that stuff piled everywhere? How can you stand it?”
I don’t know what the hell he was talking about. My desk is covered with my life. Who’s not comfy and inspired surrounded by a pile of life?
Let’s see . . .
1) Four library books, two magazines, and one thick orange paperback guide to Roxio Creator software. I have never Roxio-Created anything, and do not even know if we have the software to which this book refers.
2) Seven now cool hand warmers of the kill-the-earth sort. I gave up on those earth-friendly boiling ones because burning the house down would be environmentally detrimental. Also, we would be homeless.
3) 67 cents in change because Maj used the last of her iTunes gift card and ran over by 67 cents. The money makes me giggle because it reminds me of the time Mark allowed Kallan on-line access to his credit card, and she just kept spending money and buying stuff until we noticed. Her explanation? “The computer said I could.”
4) A video of the last theater production the girls were in. A video for which we paid $25.00, and in which our older daughter appears wearing a fish head mask which completely covers her face and our younger daughter appears only as a shadowy badly-lit background figure. Neither girl wants to watch the video, and I wish they had mentioned that before I paid for the damned thing.
5) A thread and a needle Kallan brought to me when her talent-show costume needed alterations.
6) The large bag of assorted safety pins with which I actually made the alterations. Sewing . . . HAHAHAHA!!!
7) An empty kitchen garbage bag that I am thinking Mark placed here in hopes that I would empty the paper shredder that sits next to my desk. Whatever.
8) Three dog toys, one of which smells like peanut butter.
9) A silver bell of the “ORDER UP!” sort you might find in a restaurant. Kallan was reclined on the couch in front of the television the other night, ringing for repeated room service. Ding ding . . . “Can I have a snack?” Ding Ding . . . “Would you close the blinds?” Ding ding . . . “Can I have a Coke?” Ding ding . . . “Can you get me a blanket?” Ding ding . . . “Hey! Mom, give that back!”
10) Various bits and pieces of arts and crafts projects. The cupboard in which these items belong is directly behind me, but the girls tend to drop everything on my desk. I have an assortment of pipe cleaners, small cut-up triangles of shiny paper, scissors, glue-sticks, pompom balls in purple and green, popsicle sticks, markers, felt scraps, and silver glitter. I would put all of this stuff away, but I am tired of picking up after other people. The whole Mom thing is a pain in the ass sometimes.
11) A confiscated origami paper fortune teller like the one pictured here in which the fortunes all revolve around being injured by the person telling your fortune. Short-lived fun for Kallan, because her sister told on her immediately after Maj’s “You will be poked in the stomach” fortune was told.
12) Various folders and piles of important papers. I call this a filing system. Mark calls it piles of shit. We have agreed to disagree.
13) Notes of all sizes and degrees of legibility, two written on the backs of candy-bar wrappers. The candy wasn’t mine, but the notes are important.
14) Typed phone lists from various organizations I have belonged to over the years. Every time I call a certain friend and have to look up her number on a now ten-year-old MOMS Club list, Mark is driven a teeny bit more insane.
15) A drawing Kallan did the other night of a “cool” girl and a “stepped on” girl. The “stepped on” girl has a moon face, a rounded nose, big curly brown hair, and freckles. The “cool” girl has a thin face, a sharp little nose, straight blonde hair, and (interestingly) what appears to be a painful black eye. I asked Kallan what that was about, and she said that the “stepped on” girl got tired of being picked on and punched the “cool” girl in the face.
Hmmmmmm.
16) Car registration (!!!) Ok, that’s not supposed to be here.
17) An envelope of dried and pressed flowers, testily left here by Maj, who was less than impressed with the amount of fun involved in drying and pressing flowers.
18) A stale Oreo cookie. Oh wait . . . not so stale.
19) A neatly cursived note from Maj in which she informs me that she wants a bicycle for her birthday, but only if she gets to pick it out. Otherwise, cash.
20) And then there’s all the stuff that makes a desk a desk: my computer monitor and keyboard, rolls of scotch tape, my cell phone, my camera, an empty coffee cup, wires and plugs that connect who-knows-what to god-knows-where, my wedding ring (which is occasionally annoying to wear), shipping labels for the return of home-schooling items that do not belong to me but which have disappeared into my house, a fabric purple letter K, a dog leash, a headband, assorted CDs, and a china pig.
Mark says I need a system. I say I have a system.
Mark says making your outside world as chaotic as your inside world is not a system.
I beg to differ.
Sounds like my desk. Isn’t it funny how even though the desk (and possible the house) is a total wreck, I “still” know where everything is.
The house is actually usually in pretty good shape; it’s just my little corner of it that’s a mess. I like it that way. And sometimes there are hidden cookies!
Poor Mark!! I understand!!
I liked Kallan’s fortune cookie idea, very funny!
It wasn’t a cookie, but one of those paper folding things (I put a link to a how-to page in the post), and it was filled with great fortunes like, “You will be pinched,” and “You will be be hit,” and “Your hair will be pulled.” Sigh.
This also sounds like my desk. I keep meaning to clean it (and the office) but it never gets done. Oh well, I’ll just pile the stuff next to the desk.
I can’t pile stuff on the floor, because then the smaller badly behaved dog eats it. Or mates it. He has issues.
Sorry I Posted the picture of my desk. To confess…it usually isn’t that neat. Before I took the picture, I had to pick up piles of shit on the floor. Wouldn’t want anyone to think I was a slob.
I KNEW IT!!!
Hey I don’t want to say who’s desk that reminds me of… but because I live with her, she might get mad. I gave up, it’s all hers and I’m not touching it or else be accused to throwing something “important” away.
O.o <-surprise eyes, not mis-shaped boobs
Happy Monday!
Oh yeah, <3 (mustache-boobs) you all!
How are those surprise eyes? I don’t get it. It looks like someone knocked over a snowman. I need emoticon tutoring. Plus, why are you surprised? Debby’s desk always looks like that . . . or did she sneak up and read this over your shoulder? In which case . . . what’s the emoticon for “Oh fuck!”??
I don’t know, really…
() -8 <- maybe? Use your imagination. I don't think there is one (yet)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emoticons
I am not even going to tell you what that looks like to me.
It’s what I call a creative order or as kids say these days “a hot mess”. I just counted 5 empty cups of coffee on my desk.
My work desk has to be immaculate, or things inevitably go wrong.
My home ‘desk’ on the other hand is a pit. By ‘desk’, I mean a very large Ikea coffee table in the middle of my living room. And by pit, I mean that if I sit down at it, I must have everything within my reach that I could possibly ever want. Also, my weeks worth of whatever jewelry I wear gets plonked down on this surface, my boyfriends plethora of medication and most of his computer software lie on this monstrosity as well.
Did I mention it has two levels?
Did I also mention I get more work done on the pit than I do at work?
Yes, I LIKE to be surrounded with all of my stuff and chaos when I work (and this desk is where I do all of my work). It helps me think.
“Because the Computer said I could” Remind me never to let my kids with in 100 yards of my credit cards. They have really expensive taste.
Our home desk looks the same. Although when I am working on the computer at home, its usually on the laptop. That way the kids can sit next to me and help. Emmalee loves to give a rolling commentary.
Russell -
Mark’s desk is immaculate and organized, just so you know.
So fucking irritating.