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I have mentioned our smaller stupid dog. Jack the terrier has many issues. Among them? A deep-seated hatred of all oven mitts. I am not even kidding. I don’t know what went on in his early puppyhood, but he? Is all kinds of fucked up. The most hated oven mitts? A large rubber glove-like …Fists of doom “Mother!” “Yes, Maj?” “Mother! I need help, Mother! Kallan is way too energetic! Help me!” I walk into the room, and Maj is sitting on the couch knitting. And Kallan is whirling and twirling around her sister like she’s a tether ball and Maj is the pole to which she is attached. …Bad news for you Mark woke this morning determined that we were going to take a road trip. Go touch some nature. Walk in some water. Throw some rocks. Climb some hills and enjoy the view. Drive. Mark was all cheerful. The rest of us stared at him crankily. We did not feel inclined to touch nature. We …Slobber-filled view Migraines suck. It has been a shitty day here, and my head likes to celebrate shitty days by trying to kill me. Because, really? What better finale could there possibly be? It’s like the fireworks display on the 4th of July . . . “There’s some shit. And more explosions of shit. And ooooooh …Instead of where I was |
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Just add water to make sauce
Last night. Mark and I are side by side, both at our desks. Both at our computers.
Mark is all thoughtful, “Who do you know who you could call a crew slut?”
“Excuse me?”
“That would be a great thing to write about. You know . . . that Frank Zappa song?”
“Ummm . …Just add water to make sauce
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