Over the years, many of my stay-at-home mom friends have started home-based businesses.
Selling useless overpriced shit that no one really wants.
Sorry, ladies . . . it’s true.
Like various lines of makeup and beauty products and jewelry and sex toys and games and candles and books and toys and educational materials and clothing and kitchen products and food and on and on and on . . .
You know how it works.
Because these women are my friends?
I always help them out when I can.
I host or attend the occasional “party,” and I generally buy a few token items from the glossy catalogs.
And by the way? Calling these sales events “parties” just because they happen to occur in someone’s home? Way fucking lame.
Anyway.
With all due respect to the people who manage to climb to the top of these various pyramid schemes?
These home-based businesses rarely make my friends any real money.
Because after they have used up the goodwill of their close personal friends? They get stuck in the circle of other moms with home-based businesses.
Which means that Sue is willing to host a candle party for Jane, but in return? Jane is going to have to host a jewelry party for Sue. And Eva will host a candle party for Jane, but in return? Eva wants Jane to convince Sue to host a makeup party for Eva. Which means that Jane now owes Sue a favor, and must either host another jewelry party for Sue or find someone else to host a jewelry party for Sue. Maybe Jill, who owes Jane a favor, because Jane hosted a kitchen products party for Jill a while back.
Got that?
And it is understood that at all of these parties, everyone is obligated (although the tight-faced hostess will smilingly assure you otherwise) to buy something.
Which means that all of the home-based business ladies are always attending one another’s parties, buying one another’s shit, and pretending that everyone is making money when in fact no one is making a fucking dime that she does not immediately owe to another woman.
It is a fucking home-based circle jerk, is what it is.
Which brings me to this blogging thing.
I post every day.
That’s a lot of work, people.
I answer every comment you leave here on Pretty All True.
That’s a lot of work, people.
I answer all emails I receive in connection with Pretty All True.
That’s a lot of work, people.
Work that I love . . . but work.
Time-consuming work.
And I am being paid nothing.
I am all geniusy at not being paid.
Turns out that this blogging home-based business is not a big money-maker.
Who knew?
There are a lot of bloggers, and we all visit one another. We all understand that a visit without a comment (like attending a jewelry party without buying some shit) is just not done. So we exchange visits and comments.
There is no money . . . instead there is the currency of traffic, of comments, of adoration.
A big fucking circle jerk of bloggers.
Sigh.
I have to stop masturbating so much.
My family is starting to wonder why I need all of this private time.
Snort!
Anyway.
I need to start assigning a value to my work here on Pretty All True. I need to take myself seriously or no one else is going to take me seriously. I can’t just keep fucking around hoping that someone else is going to make something happen for me.
I need to start making things happen for me.
And that takes time. Time that I do not currently have.
So I am going to make some changes here on Pretty All True.
Starting with this one . . .
From now on? I will read only what I want to read and comment only where I want to comment.
Plus also? I will comment where you ask me to comment.
But you have to ask.
And no, I am not kidding.
Direct me to the writing of yours that you love . . . not to a meme or a photo or a giveaway or a review or a guest post from someone I’ve never read. Or, god forbid . . . a vlog.
I want to connect with you. Help me to do that.
Direct me to the writing of yours that you love.
And I will comment.
I leave good comments, people.
I so fucking do.
I am worth a little bit of extra work.
I so fucking am.
So there.
If you look to the left of this page, you’ll see a new link called Make Me Come (Snort!). If you click it? You’ll be presented with a contact form with which you can send me the details of the post you want me to visit.
And I will visit.
And I will comment.
And if you don’t have a blog?
Then this change will affect you not at all.
But watch this space.
There is more to come.
I can understand where you’re coming from. It is a lot of work…which is why I’m unable to post every day. Plus? I just don’t have that many ideas that people would actually read.
Change makes me all nervous. And asking someone to read my shit? Makes me even nervouser. I suck at self promotion. However? I’m also a comment whore. So now I have conflict. *sigh*
Good luck with “the change” :)
Snort!
Click the fucking link and send me to something of yours.
You big baby.
We all suck at self-promotion.
Which is why we all suck at moving beyond our smallish masturbatory circle.
Seriously.
And that last sentence of yours sounds like you are wishing me a happy journey through menopause.
Snort!
Fuck that.
When that time comes?
I am taking you all down with me in a bloody rampage.
Or maybe just a rampage.
Without the blood.
SNORT!
HA HA HA!!!!
I’m bowing down to you b/c you are freakin HILARIOUS!
I thought I loved you at this post.
You became my HERO with this comment!!!
HA HA HA!
Love you.
Love that you noticed this comment.
Swoon!
Did I start a shit storm with my “boast/bossy” tweet???
Blogging really does take a lot of time. It really, truly does. And there are days I hate it. And days when I “give it my best”, but my “best” sucks. And then there are times when you know you’re at your best, and no one fucking comes.
So I understand the change.
You did not start a shit-storm.
Silly you.
This has been coming for a while . . . I need to impose some structure and organization on the time I spend blogging.
I love this blog, but I have been spending too much time playing and not enough time working.
So back to work.
And I love you.
Thanks, you.
Im confused but since I dont have a blog, then Im off the hook…
Just love you. do what you have to do to keep giving us what you can.
Thats all I ask.
I will take all the YOU I can get…
Hee hee!
If you don’t have a blog, then confusion is fine.
Love you.
Want to buy some scented candles?
I have a shitload of scented candles.
Snort!
anything for you my dear…
(ripping check from checkbook)
Snort!
You are all lovely.
So. Do I need to buy some dildos or should I just leave comment?
Snort.
All kidding aside? Good for you. Do what you want. Fuck the rest.
The dildos are . . . ummmm . . . slightly used.
Snort!
The words, though?
Those are all fresh and shiny and unmolested.
And they are free!
Take all that you want.
I’ll make more.
And thank you.
I will fuck the rest.
Happily.
When I first started reading your post I didn’t know how to react, but buy the end of it I was laughing my butt off!!! LOL I love the way you express yourself. One of my favorite things in life is hearing other people perspectives and exposing the elephant in the room. You exposed the truth so well, when it comes to people just buying each others stuff. LOL
I believe in giving for the sake of giving, not because you want something in return. Thus, comment because you want to, not because you expect them to comment back. Get involved in giveaways and reviews because you want to and turn them down if you don’t. Simple.
Thanks for the laugh(s).
Yes, it’s all fucking simple until it is not.
Until there are hurt feelings and unmet expectations and guilt.
Sigh.
I also believe in giving for the sake of giving.
But it is a vicious circle. You give all generously, expecting nothing in return. And then the other comes to give you a gift! Yay! That is lovely! And so you give another gift, and she gives one back to you. And then repeat.
And soon?
Circle Jerk status and another obligation.
As for reviews and giveaways?
Those will never be appearing here on Pretty All True.
Not fucking even.
The only things I give away are my opinions.
You’re welcome.
Snort!
I don’t have a blog and yours is the only blog I comment on a regular basis. Just commenting on each post I found to be more of a commitment then I could handle. Not sure how you manage to post every day.
Yay!
You are all fucking awesome!
Thank you.
I love you all deeply and shit.
Seriously.
I HATED those parties. So I just stopped going. It was too much ridiculousness.
Also, I hate vlogs. I can barely watch my own videos of my own kid and family – I’m not watching yours. Also, if anything is over 15 seconds, I don’t have the patience.
Yes!
I do not watch vlogs.
Ever.
Gather your words up, people. Paint me a picture with your words.
Seriously.
And the parties?
I have stopped going . . . moving out of state has cut down on those invitations. I still get a few, but they are easier to turn down when there is not a pre-existing friendship. Which is why I hate those home-based businesses . . . they teach women to take advantage of their friends.
In my humble opinion.
Also in my humble opinion?
People need to cut that vlogging shit out.
They are annoying me.
Love you, babe.
I feel weird now. Am I supposed to comment here every day that I read your blog now? Or should I not visit if I don’t intend to comment? What the fuck?
I have a blog, but I don’t want you to comment there because that would be weird. It’s basically for my family because they live far away. But they don’t comment. Which is annoying. But I do it anyway because I feel obligated.
This is causing me stress…comment/not comment?…visit/not visit?…buy the overpriced crap/don’t even go to the party?
I hope I don’t get “kicked off the island”…
Stacie -
You are all unnecessarily stressed.
Visit here if you like.
Comment here if you like.
And if you want my comments? Let me know.
And your sense of obligation to your family? I so get that.
As for the overpriced crap?
Stay away from that shit.
$25.00 for potholders?
Not fucking even.
Oh good. Blood pressure steadily going down now. Whew…
I will visit. I will comment when I feel the urge. And I will buy my candles from the store, when I have a coupon.
Crisis averted.
See?
It’s all good.
This isn’t about pissing people off . . . it’s about taking control of my life and my writing.
It’s all good.
Thank you.
Oh, I so hope you don’t think I was pissed off…I obviously am not as eloquent a writer as to you and therefore I don’t think I came off as I intended. I am really just kinda stupid and really didn’t understand what you were saying at first. I get it now.
And for what it’s worth, your dedication to a post every day and replying to every. single. comment. is quite impressive.
I didn’t think you were pissed off.
I just didn’t want you to have read any hostility or testiness into my words. Because my words also can be misunderstood. The written word has its limitations. For all of us.
And thank you.
Very much.
You DO leave excellent comments. I can’t help it-I feel like if someone takes the time to stop by and leave a comment on my blog that I HAVE to return the favor. Maybe it’s a Southern thing? Granted, you get lots more commenters than I do which makes it WAY harder and I don’t post daily but I can’t NOT visit them-unless they leave me no way. I respond if it makes sense on my posts but I always at least visit them.
I don’t get invited to those parties anymore. I kept telling hosts I didn’t like enough people to host a party OR need any of their shit.
I understand your feelings.
I do.
And I try to visit my commenters. I do.
And I have not said that I will ONLY visit if you make a request. Only that I will ABSOLUTELY visit if you make a request.
I am just taking a bit of control.
Over my life, my writing, and my time.
I have a real life over here!
I know!
I forgot for a moment as well.
And I do leave good comments.
Hee hee!
Thank you for that.
I think everybody has to do what works for them.
I don’t do reviews, vlogs, giveaways or a photo in every post. According to the “experts” this makes me a crap blogger.
Here on Pretty All True?
No photos.
No reviews.
No giveaways.
No vlogs.
Your experts are stupid.
Wait, you hate vlogs? Damn. That’s like all I got.
Yes, I have noticed that.
Stop that shit.
I am so not asking you to come my blog. You can come if you want, don’t if you don’t want. I don’t write it for the sake of comments. I mean I like the comments, but sometimes I just want a place to say what I want to say. I find it pretty simple that way. Just like, comment if you want, don’t comment if you don’t want. If we were friends in real life, I’d want you to visit me because you wanted to and not visit me because I kept insisting that you visit me. But that’s all beside the point.
The point is, are you going all markety? Because, I so don’t want that to happen. I love you, just the way you are. Not all markety and crazy with ads and bs reviews, etc. I mean, sex and candy sell itself.
Snort!
I am not going all markety.
I am just taking some control over my life.
There will be no reviews. There will be no contests. There will be no giveaways.
Would I like this blogging thing to make me a few dollars?
I won’t lie about that. Yes, I would.
So I will not promise that there will never be ads. I have an ad for amazon on my site right now.
But no . . . this is about taking control. Being less crazy.
Not more crazy.
Promise.
As for the other?
You need to grow a pair.
Seriously.
In this blogging world? Women have such a hard fucking time speaking up, promoting themselves, saying, “Hey! Come check out this awesome thing I did!” We need to get over that shit.
You need to get over that shit.
I want to get to know you.
Send me a link.
I will not think less of you.
I will think MORE of you for your bravery.
Seriously.
Okay, I’ll make you a deal. If I EVER write anything even close to the caliber of your writing, I am so promoting that shit. I might even by an ad space on YOUR blog to do so. I doubt that will ever happen, but if it does, I’ll be demanding you come over immediately and check it out.
Listen, you.
If it comes from your heart and shares a bit of who you are?
Send me that link.
Well….ths seems like the perfect post to leave my first comment. Love your writing!
Yay!
Love you.
And thank you.
One of my absolute favorite quotes is from Thoreau, who wrote, “How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.”
I’m proud of you for standing up.
Love you.
Nichole?
Thank you.
You always get me.
Thank you.
I LOVE that quote. Wow. Thoreau is a personal favorite of mine, anyway, but I’ve never seen this before. Maybe I had but couldn’t relate to it like I do now. Either way, awesome quote. Thanks for sharing.
Oh, thank god you wrote this!
Those parties….sigh. Since I’ve been a stay-at-home mom, I get bombarded with friends and aquaintences trying to get me to sell something/join something/host something.
“It’s a great way to make money” and other such nonsense used as their selling points.
But here’s the thing – I’m greedy with my time. I get very little of it completely to myself, and what I do have? I’m not sharing. Plus, my time is way more valuable than any money I might make selling crock pots, massage oils, or stamping or scrapbooking crap. Plus? I suck at selling stuff. Plus also? Don’t really like people all that much, truth be told.
I put my daughter in a Christian preschool this year. I am paying what I feel is a generous tuition. And even though she’s only been ‘in school’ (if you can consider two mornings a week ‘in school’) for about six weeks, there have been 3 fundraising ‘opportunities’ already. And that doesn’t count the box tops for education or soup label crap. Plus? The parents buy all the supplies. So WTF?!?!?
Whoa…got a little off topic there, sorry. My point in all of this is that selling stuff sucks, period.
Your blog? OMG! It fuckin’ rocks. I love that you reply to every comment. I also totally get why you are making the changes you announced. I don’t think you read my blog anymore (totally understandable, it’s nowhere near on par with yours), but as long as you continue to write, I’ll read every single post, whether I comment or not. And I vote for you everyday.
I love Pretty All True and you make me want to be the best storyteller I can be. So thanks for all that you’ve done already, whether you know it or not.
Yes . . . exactly.
I need to be more greedy with my time.
Happy sighs that you understand.
My girls used to attend a Christian elementary school. And at the beginning of every school year, each kid was sent home with a huge cardboard suitcase of chocolate. A fundraiser.
Fuck that shit.
My 6 year old daughter is not a door-to-door salesman. So I would just write a check to the school for that first box of candy and refuse to do more.
And then I gave that crappy candy away to everyone I knew.
I hate fundraisers, and most especially I hate fundraisers that are not specifically tied to an activity or event from which my child will benefit.
Sigh.
And I have not been as good about visiting everyone lately.
Send me a fucking link.
Make me come.
Snort!
No worries and no guilt either, missy. It’s like what Sheila said, as long as I get to read your blog, I’m a happy camper.
Snort.
Send me a link.
No blog here, no pressure. I do occasionally check out some other blogs, but if I ever come across a giveaway? I never return. I’m fine with seeing ads on the sides, if you can get some coin coming in that way, more power to you, but if you ever try to whore yourself out by promising shiny trinkets? My respect goes down the toilet!
But if I ever start a blog? I really, really, REALLY want you to visit.
Just not yet, I’m not ready yet.
No pressure.
Hee hee!
I have no shiny trinkets to offer.
Hate that shit.
And when you are ready? When you start that blog and are ready for visitors?
I will be first in line.
Just say the word.
I’m really interested in your point of view on giveaways. I host giveaways every once in awhile, but it’s not because I’m trying to get more people to “like” me, it’s because I’ve become, what I consider as friends with a lot of people who read my blog day after day, and I like to give back to them. I’ve done giveaways where I don’t get a penny from it…but it’s because I like to give back to others.
With all due respect to the bloggers who give stuff away?
Including you.
Here are my thoughts . . .
What the hell do you owe your readers that you are “giving back to them?”
Nothing, in my opinion.
I blog to give my words to others.
To share my thoughts with others.
To connect.
And if that is not enough?
Fuck them.
Seriously.
I know that seems harsh, but if I thought for a minute that I had to give something back to my readers?
That would suggest that I feel that what we already have is an uneven bargain and that they do more for me than I do for them.
And babe?
Not.
But that said?
I am a crazy person.
And a lot of people like free stuff.
And I have found that free stuff?
It trumps content.
Every fucking time.
So there is that.
I don’t owe them anything. But it feels good to do nice things for people. I’m obviously not altruistic, because making people happy does something for me.
Perhaps it’s because I tend to be selfish in my own personal life.
Well, if that’s the case?
That is all kinds of different.
If doing the giveaways makes you happy?
That’s a whole different story.
Carry on . . . we all should do the things that work for us.
Plus also?
I don’t believe that last sentence for an instant.
But I know about guilt and its power.
Love you, babe.
Carry on with your bad self.