We are sitting at a small table, drinking coffee and flipping through the newspaper. There is comfortable silence, and even as it lengthens, neither of us feels the need to speak. There will be time for talking later.
For now, the stillness is lovely.
The silence accumulates, the coffee is finished. The newspaper is folded, fatter with use, its pages misaligned. I reach to smooth it, to provide a new crease, and I run my fingers down hard along the new spine I have created. Ink meets the whorls of my two fingertips and reaches out to fill the empty spaces.
He watches me.
The silence between us is somehow met by an invisible tension. Charged.
I examine the darkened ovals of my fingertips and then bring them to my mouth, dampen them with my tongue.
He watches me.
I reach out and press my two inked fingers into the bare skin of his forearm, leaving two small smudges of ink. Identifying me and claiming him in one small motion.
We watch one another.
There is more silence, but it is a silence filled with words.
Unspoken wanting words.
He reaches for me with the arm I have claimed, traces a finger from behind my ear down the length of my jaw. Gently.
His finger stops beneath my chin, and I feel the gentleness become a soft pressure.
Beneath my chin he leaves his fingerprint. Identifying him and claiming me in one small motion.
I feel pulled but not quite pulled by the small continuing touch of his single finger . . . invited.
I lean forward into his touch, and he guides me through the expanse of space between us. Until there is no space between us. And when there is no space left between us, his finger joins the rest of his hand to slide to the back of my neck. To pull me into him.
Our lips . . .
“Hey babe, do you want another cup of coffee?”
ACK!
I quickly minimize the screen, down the last sip of my first cup of coffee, and look up into my husband’s eyes, “Ummmm, yes. Thanks!”
He disappears for a moment and then returns, sets the coffee down in front of me, stares at my empty screen in confusion, “I thought I heard you typing something.”
“Yeah, I was answering a few emails. I haven’t figured out what I’m going to post today. My brain is all distracted.”
Mark sits down at his desk, sips his own coffee, and laughs, “Well, if you just watch me? If we just talk for a little bit? I am sure I will do or say something stupid that will inspire you.”
He laughs, “I can be your stupid muse!”
Snort!
We drink our coffee at our separate desks.
Mark turns to me, “Were you done with the newspaper? I was going to toss it in the recycling bin, but I wasn’t sure.”
“Yes, thanks. I’m done with it.”
We talk for a bit about the things we noticed in the newspaper, a movie Mark wants to see, the fact that the girls did not put away their clean clothes before they left for school this morning. But then there is silence.
After 24 years? It does not occur to either of us to break the silence.
There is no need to fill the silences between us.
Silence is comfortable.
It will end when it is supposed to end.
With these words, “I have a meeting this afternoon. I’ll be out for a few hours.”
I answer without looking up from my computer, “OK, babe.”
He gets up from his desk, steps behind me, lays his hands on my shoulders. Looks at my empty screen, “You’ll think of something, babe. You always think of something.”
I feel the pressure of all his fingertips against my body. The weight of his hands.
I lean backward into his body and bring my own hands up to rest upon his hands.
Gently.
I lean my head back to meet his eyes.
He leans down to kiss me. A soft kiss.
Identifying us and claiming us in one small motion.
This marriage thing?
It is lovely.
Your cuteness and sweetness?
Is almost too much to look directly at.
I need a piece of cardboard with a pinhole, stat!
Snort!
Yes.
I am all solar eclipsey over here.
Snort!
Well that was steamy and funny and lovely all at once….just like be married. Hey, did you do that on purpose?
errrr…being married that is. *facepalm*
I knew what you meant.
Silly you.
There are no mistakes here on Pretty All True.
I have mentioned that before.
Thanks, you!
You evoke emotion so very well.
I startled a little when Mark asked if you wanted coffee. As though I were there.
Spying. A voyeur.
Okay. See what I mean? You are all too good at evoking…
And yes, marriage is lovely. And comfortable.
Happy sighs that you took the journey with me.
Love that.
And marriage is lovely.
Lovely and comfortable.
Yes.
Nice. Team Mark! he needs a fan club…
and SIGH…
Ummm . . . Mark has a fan club.
Remember the Crew Sluts?
Snort!
And yes . . .
Plus also?
Sigh.
hello?
i am the founder and president of Mark’s fan club.
i love him.
sigh.
i love you too.
That you love us both?
Although perhaps Mark a teeny bit more?
Swoon!
Love you.
You are feeling better, then?
I owe you a letter, I know.
actually?
i don’t know if i feel better or not?
the drugs?
are really messin with the head.
I hate when that happens.
Do you have a notebook?
Write those messed up thoughts down.
They will come in handy later.
You two are charming.
Like Miss Piggy and Kermit.
Only it’s weird that’s the first example of love I could come up with.
‘Cause she was a little abusive.
But I’m sure you’re not like that.
Miss Piggy was more than a little abusive.
But Mark as Kermit the Frog? Love that!
I will take my rendition of the pig down a few notches.
The frog is delicate.
Snort!
How much do I love you and your words? So very.
I had to leave this comment as a reply here for 3 reasons.
1. I about peed my pants when I read this. The frog is delicate. Ha!
2. Fiance looks exactly like kermit the frog when he has too much to drink. Hahahaha. He hates that I have pointed this out to him. And sometimes? If he has one more? He starts to sound like kermit. Giggles.
3. Dirty joke. I have to.
What’s green and smells like pork?
Kermit’s finger.
LeAnne, out.
1) If you hold frogs too tightly? They pee into your hands. Which is just a useful bit of information, and has nothing to do with Mark. Ahem.
2) Your husband? Sounds fabulous! Kermit the Frog, here!
3) Ewww, babe. Plus also? Snorty pig giggles.
I don’t really read books anymore as they tend to make me sleepy (which I am told is because I am a slow reader…wtf?), but once a day, I visit here and am reminded how beautiful the written word is. Some tragic, some hysterically funny. Either way, I visit every day. Thank you.
Well, that is an awesome compliment.
Thank you very much.
Big love to you.
i am only 7 years into this marriage gig and it IS lovely and hard and long and short and wide and deep. after 24 years? i hope we are as cozy still as you & Mark.
Hee hee!
We are all cozy.
And then there are periods of great lust and deep frenzy.
But I am not allowed to write about that.
Ahem.
But it is awesome.
Just saying.
Hee hee!
Such sweetness. Such love. I’m scared. KIDDING. Very nice. Silence like that is lovely.
Snort!
I know!
I am all soft lately.
The eventual rebound?
Is going to be like fucking whiplash.
Yay!
I am also only 7 years into the marriage thing…and there have been several horrible experiences thrown at us in that short time. Mostly we fall toward each for support but I could see how it would be easy to fall away from one another too. Tell me Dr kris…how does one have the LOVE after 24 years?
xo …oops just high fives!
I have no magic words.
I have watched many marriages fail because the partners fell away from each other.
We are where we want to be, Mark and I.
We stand together always.
Things are not always perfect.
But things are always ours, together.
I am still waiting for my Crew Sluts t-shirt.
Actually?
I think Nigel was the one who actually talked of making those T-shirts.
Nigel?
what in the hell is wrong with him?
if you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself.
Snort.
Truer words were never spoken.
word.
Hee hee!
You both are so needy.
needy or not, i want my damn tee shirt.
Needy?
I do not see needy.
I believe Marian and I were discussing taking matters into our own hands.
Ah yes, I love the little butterflies I still get with my husband. Still fresh as the day he reached over the console of his Infinity to hold my hand when we were 18.
Swoon!
That is lovely.
Happy sighs.
you guys are so awesome. *sigh*
We have our moments.
This is beautiful. I want this sort of relationship with my man. Maybe in 20 years….
Mark is lovely.
I am better for having him.
Love that.
This was a really great post. Sometimes, I take the comfortable and silence as a bad sign. But, only in the marriage I’m in now. That would be a whole Oprah show all together. Anyway, this was sweet and I long for that kind of relationship. The one in your fantasy, and in your reality! Congrats!
Thanks, you.
My fantasy?
And my reality?
Both fucking awesome.
…and also? I laughed when I read the title cuz I thought your post was going to be about small poo’s.
You have made me laugh right out loud!
Snort!
Love that!
Guess what else?
I have changed the title.
I used the word “motion” throughout the piece.
A much better title.
Without the poo reference.
Thanks, you!