We are sitting at a small table, drinking coffee and flipping through the newspaper. There is comfortable silence, and even as it lengthens, neither of us feels the need to speak. There will be time for talking later.
For now, the stillness is lovely.
The silence accumulates, the coffee is finished. The newspaper is folded, fatter with use, its pages misaligned. I reach to smooth it, to provide a new crease, and I run my fingers down hard along the new spine I have created. Ink meets the whorls of my two fingertips and reaches out to fill the empty spaces.
He watches me.
The silence between us is somehow met by an invisible tension. Charged.
I examine the darkened ovals of my fingertips and then bring them to my mouth, dampen them with my tongue.
He watches me.
I reach out and press my two inked fingers into the bare skin of his forearm, leaving two small smudges of ink. Identifying me and claiming him in one small motion.
We watch one another.
There is more silence, but it is a silence filled with words.
Unspoken wanting words.
He reaches for me with the arm I have claimed, traces a finger from behind my ear down the length of my jaw. Gently.
His finger stops beneath my chin, and I feel the gentleness become a soft pressure.
Beneath my chin he leaves his fingerprint. Identifying him and claiming me in one small motion.
I feel pulled but not quite pulled by the small continuing touch of his single finger . . . invited.
I lean forward into his touch, and he guides me through the expanse of space between us. Until there is no space between us. And when there is no space left between us, his finger joins the rest of his hand to slide to the back of my neck. To pull me into him.
Our lips . . .
“Hey babe, do you want another cup of coffee?”
ACK!
I quickly minimize the screen, down the last sip of my first cup of coffee, and look up into my husband’s eyes, “Ummmm, yes. Thanks!”
He disappears for a moment and then returns, sets the coffee down in front of me, stares at my empty screen in confusion, “I thought I heard you typing something.”
“Yeah, I was answering a few emails. I haven’t figured out what I’m going to post today. My brain is all distracted.”
Mark sits down at his desk, sips his own coffee, and laughs, “Well, if you just watch me? If we just talk for a little bit? I am sure I will do or say something stupid that will inspire you.”
He laughs, “I can be your stupid muse!”
Snort!
We drink our coffee at our separate desks.
Mark turns to me, “Were you done with the newspaper? I was going to toss it in the recycling bin, but I wasn’t sure.”
“Yes, thanks. I’m done with it.”
We talk for a bit about the things we noticed in the newspaper, a movie Mark wants to see, the fact that the girls did not put away their clean clothes before they left for school this morning. But then there is silence.
After 24 years? It does not occur to either of us to break the silence.
There is no need to fill the silences between us.
Silence is comfortable.
It will end when it is supposed to end.
With these words, “I have a meeting this afternoon. I’ll be out for a few hours.”
I answer without looking up from my computer, “OK, babe.”
He gets up from his desk, steps behind me, lays his hands on my shoulders. Looks at my empty screen, “You’ll think of something, babe. You always think of something.”
I feel the pressure of all his fingertips against my body. The weight of his hands.
I lean backward into his body and bring my own hands up to rest upon his hands.
Gently.
I lean my head back to meet his eyes.
He leans down to kiss me. A soft kiss.
Identifying us and claiming us in one small motion.
This marriage thing?
It is lovely.
Ahh, happy sighs. The comfortable silence is even better than the quiet that follows tantrums.
Yes, it is.
The comfortable silence?
Is just perfect.
Happy sighs, indeed.
Really very evocative. Loved it. Marriage can be boring sometimes but those moments when you can look at each other and know how the other feels… priceless.
I am sometimes bored.
But my marriage?
Is not the thing that bores me.
Really.
Ha! You are awesome.
Thanks, you!
And also?
Just . . . Thanks.
I’m telling you, you need to start Pretty All Porn so we can get the juicy bits too! Better not let Mark catch the guy with your finger prints all over him tho. hehe
I just got married, but it’s #2 for me (second marriage, not poo, dammit). We’ve been together for almost 5 years. And sometimes? It has been hard. Really hard (and not in the fun Pretty All Porn way, either). But in the end? We’ve worked hard to get where we’re at & I’m glad to know I have a partner.
Here in the secrecy of my comment section?
I will tell you that I am pretty awesome at writing the juicy bits.
By which I mean that I like what I write very much.
Hee hee!
But Mark frowns on the juicy bit sharing.
But the thought of Pretty All Porn?
Is pretty all tempting.
Hee hee!
Marriage is not always easy.
My marriage has not always been easy.
But if you are truly partners?
The work is more than worth doing.
Way more.
Mmmmmm, in MY version of the fantasy, the one with the fingerprints on him is Jon Bon Jovi….
But I’m all good with opening my eyes & seeing my husband, 16 years is not so long that all the glitter has worn off.
And sometimes, still, that glitter gets into all sorts of interesting places!
I have many versions of this fantasy, but when I open my eyes?
I am always happy to see my husband.
Always.
And glitter?
I am all on board with the glitter.
Who doesn’t want to sparkle?
Lovely.
When my husband and I were newly dating? He found my writing notebook, and he read it. There were many stories in there that were pretty all porn. MAJOR ACK. He still asks me what was supposed to happen in them, since you know, I never finish anything.
Pretty All Porn? I am so there.
Hee hee!
I am all about the completion.
Snort!
And MAJOR ACK?
I am all giggling.
You had me breathing heavily.
Twice…
Happy heavy breathing sighs.
Twice.
So why the hell didn’t you drag him back to bed??!!!
Nice writing by the way. Get this month’s Writer’s Digest, it is all about Querys and Agents. It is also the annual Agent Roll call, with 75 agents and their interests listed.
Sue, you are always looking out for me.
I am not good at trying to make things happen on my own behalf.
It makes me feel queasy inside.
Thank you for the shove.
And if I dragged Mark off to bed every time he caught my attention?
I would never get anything done.
Although, that said?
Who says I didn’t?
Hee hee!
I do love it when you get all steamy.
I do.
And the tender?
You’re lovely.
I do have to be careful.
I can do steamy and tender.
Or I can do sexual and funny.
Mark frowns on the bringing together of steamy and sexual.
In my writing, I mean.
Hee hee!
In real life, he’s all good with that combo.
Wow. This really pulled me in. I love your perspective on your marriage.
Thanks, you.
I am quite fond of this marriage.
I love reminders that there are times like this, feelings like this, mystical knowing and the magic of touch, even when people have been together a very long time.
We are prone to thinking that new is the only place where excitement and intimacy can live.
That is wrong, of course, but it’s rare to see it.
Beyond lovely.
Awwww . . . you see me.
Yes.
Thank you.
this was so damn beautiful…
but I thought you were going to make whoopee all over the Unclaimed bank account section..claiming them for your own.
Yes I said make Whoopee
25 year newlywed over here, myself :)
Rene
Hee hee!
The actual sex with Mark will have to stay off of the blog.
Sigh.
And how much do I love that I have readers who know what it is to have committed a lifetime to a marriage?
Love that.
Love you.
Ooh, I loved scrolling down this post…..you are very clever, and being a quite happily married lady of 23 years I think you may actually have been in my kitchen. Thank you for the smiles, and for pointing out that yeah, marriage can be all that.
Yes, marriage can be all that.
And high-fives!
Seriously . . . well done, you!
That was so SWEET! At first I thought you two were going to have sex on your blog for everyone to see (I was totally covering my eyes), but the you surprised me! Very nice.
Hee hee!
I don’t actually have sex here on Pretty All True.
Much.
Ahem.
My love and I will be married for four years tomorrow.
I remember clearly our first kiss and what he said after…
“Feel better now?”
Ah, but I totally did…I TOTALLY did.
Can’t make this shit up.
Someday ask what he said before the first time we..uh…you know…
*blush*
Feel better now?
Swoon!
That is awesome.
And happy almost anniversary!
And I so want to know the other story.
I so do.
http://twitpic.com/2r0rca
See? Told you I felt better…
Who took that picture?
The look on your face?
That’s fabulous!
Friend of ours who snuck outside and started harassing us with the camera while we were outside getting all smoochy. I didn’t remember the pic I linked even being taken but was in the batch when we got them later.
That’s an awesome photograph to have.
Love that.