People? Your response to yesterday’s post?
Moving on . . .
Maj bought a small video camera a while back.
For the most part, the girls use the video camera together to record all sorts of activities and shows and spying. So fun.
And then there are moments like this . . .
Maj stands before me at the front door, her bike helmet askew. She is all breathless with the exertion of having raced back to the house on her scooter. She is here to present me with evidence of misbehavior. Her sister’s misbehavior.
I try to escape, “Oh, babe. You know how I feel about you telling on your sister. I know she does not always behave, but it is not your job to report back to me. Unless she is in danger? I don’t want to watch this video.”
Maj is triumphant and holds the small camera up in victory, “Oh, but she is in danger. You do need to see this. Watch and learn, Mother. Watch and learn what your little angel is doing.”
And so I watch the tape. Sigh. Kallan and her two friends on their scooters. Out riding lazy big-ass circles in the middle of the larger street at the end of our smaller street. Just in case there was any doubt as to where the girls are riding? The camera zooms in on the street sign.
And so I send a vengeful Maj out to retrieve her sister.
And here is innocent Kallan . . .
“Where are you allowed to ride your scooter?”
“On the side of our street.”
“Nope. I know the rules, Mom.”
“Anything you want to tell me, then?”
“Really? You’re going to make me send for Maj so that she can play her videotape for both of us?”
Kallan’s face twists with rage, “AUGH! I knew she was video-taping me! I knew it! She is such a big fat liar.”
She smoothes her features back into innocence, “OK, so I did ride down to the end of the street and then go on the big street. But just for a second. Just to turn around.”
“That’s not what I saw. I saw you and your friends riding in giant big loopy circles, maybe ten big circles. In the big street. That’s not just turning around.”
Kallan stomps her foot, “AUGH! How long is this videotape?”
“Long enough for me to know you are lying to me.”
She looks at me, her face filled with sincerity, “We weren’t on the big street. It just looks like the big street because you are confused. Not everything you see on a video is true, you know.”
“I’ll tell you what’s true, Kallan. What’s true is that your sister zoomed in on the street sign, and there is no doubt about where you were riding. What’s true is that you are lying to me. What’s true is that as annoyed as I am that Maj is spying on you? You are not supposed to be out on the big street. What’s true is that I am going to start asking Maj to videotape your every move if you don’t come clean right this instant.”
“AUGH! FINE! WE RODE OUT ONTO THE BIG STREET AND PLAYED. IT’S NOT LIKE I GOT HIT BY A CAR OR ANYTHING. I AM GOING TO KILL MAJ. I AM GOING TO KILL MAJ, AND THEN I AM GOING TO VIDEOTAPE HER FUNERAL.”
From behind Kallan, Maj appears and holds up her camera, “If I end up dead? You’ll go to jail. Because guess what? I just caught those sister-threatening words on videotape. More evidence of crimeful behavior. HA!”
Kallan looks at me, rolls her eyes, and mutters, “Yeah, like I don’t know how to use the delete button.”
Maj is incredulous, “She is threatening to kill me and then cover up the crime, Mother!”
Kallan snorts, “What would be the point of committing the crime if I didn’t have a covering-up plan? Duh.”
I wave my hands for silence, “Nobody is getting killed. Nobody’s funeral is being videotaped today. Listen up!”
Both girls stare at me.
I point to Kallan, “If I hear that you are out on the big street again? You lose your scooter for a week. Got it?”
Kallan agrees sadly, “Got it.”
I point to Maj, “And you need to think about whether you want to be your sister’s friend or your sister’s back-up mom. I appreciate that you care about keeping Kallan safe, but you are way too happy about being able to tell on her.”
Maj agrees, “We have had this conversation before, Mother. I am capable of remembering your words from one day to the next, you know.”
I shoo them both out, “Go. Go play. Be sisters. Be friends.”
They sit together on the front steps to tighten their bicycle helmets.
Maj is thoughtful, “You had a great idea, you know. That thing you said to Mother.”
Kallan is suspicious, “What thing?”
“That thing about videotaping a funeral.”
And they walk off, filled with excited sister plans.
Kallan’s fish Snack the Huge died last night, by the way. The burial is scheduled for later this evening.
We’ll be videotaping the fish funeral, apparently.
That’s what Maj was talking about.