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There is this thing that has been bothering me lately.
I spoke with Mark about this thing about a month ago.
But I am still all bothered.
So in my mind, last night, after the girls have gone to bed, I am all . . .
Happy sighs. This thing that is bothering me has not gone away, but I know that Mark knows how I am feeling. He is so lovely to talk to, and he was all supportive when I spoke to him about this thing in the past. I will feel much better after I talk to Mark about this thing again. Being married to Mark is pretty awesome. He really gets me.
The thing I am discussing with Mark does not matter to you, so I will just call it the thing.
You will not know what I am talking about . . . but Mark so fucking should.
As far as I am concerned, if you are married to someone who mentions a big emotional thing with which she is having trouble? You should remember that thing. Duh.
Mark is married to me, in case you missed that part.
So I say, “I am still having trouble with that thing.”
And Mark stares at me blankly.
“You know, that thing I told you about,” and then I provide sketchy reminder details.
Mark keeps working on his computer, “I have no idea what you are talking about.”
“Wait, babe. Pay attention. Remember? I told you how I was having trouble with this thing? Remember? We talked about it. I was all emotional, there was crying . . . remember?”
Mark pulls his hands away from his keyboard in exaggerated fashion and turns to look at me, “Yeah, I have no clue what you are talking about. Remind me.”
“Remind you? I am reminding you! You are so annoying. How can you not remember this thing? It was a big fucking deal! It is a big fucking deal!”
“Did you tell me it was a big deal at the time?”
“You are so annoying. Were you just pretending to listen? So annoying.”
“I listened. But then I forgot what you said.”
“What, like you have Alzheimer’s?”
“Ummm . . . no. More like I listened and I thought to myself . . . Do I have to do anything with this information? No. Toss it out.”
“Toss it out? Toss it out? Are you kidding me? I am sharing things with you! Things that are important to me, and you are all . . . Toss it out?”
Mark sighs, “You talk a lot. I can’t hold on to everything you say. If it was important, remind me.”
“No. I already did remind you. I’m not going to have the whole conversation with you again because you tossed the earlier conversation in the trash. If you tossed it out, then forget it.”
I glare at him, “Also? I do not talk a lot.”
He laughs, “You so do.”
“Seriously, babe. My feelings are all hurt. This is a big deal, this thing.”
Mark thinks for a minute, “Is this about how that person pissed you off that one time?”
People? Mark occasionally likes to play fast and loose with his continued existence on this planet.
“THAT IS SO ANNOYING! You know that’s a correct answer every fucking time! That does not demonstrate any knowledge whatsoever about this particular thing. THAT IS SO FUCKING ANNOYING!”
People? That’s like when Mark falls asleep in the middle of a conversation, and I am all, “Hey, you fell asleep while I was talking!” And he is all, “No I so did not. I am just resting my eyes.” And I am all, “OK, what’s the last thing I said, then?” And he is all, “Something about how annoying I am?”
Yes, he’s generally correct . . . but also? He was so sleeping.
Back to this moment . . .
Mark is all soothing, “You can tell me, Kris. What did this person do to annoy you?”
I slash my hands through the air in frustration, “Stop talking, Mark. Seriously. Stop talking. You are supposed to remember! Geez, you are irritating. I am not telling you the story again.”
Mark picks up a pen and starts to scribble, “Let me just make a note here for next time.”
“What are you writing?”
He holds it up. It says, “Kris wants me to listen. And then later? She wants me to remember what she has said.”
Seriously . . . fast and loose, people.
Annoying.
You mean, some of them DO remember what you talk about and when?
You mean none of them do?
Annoying.
The Lady Friend and I have an agreement. We can’t be held responsible if we ever forget something the other one told us.
The agreement has covered my ass on more than one occasion. And being a guy if she doesn’t remember everything I say that’s fine, since I don’t remember everything I say either.
SD
Even if there is crying?
Even if it is a big fucking deal?
Even if you are provided with reminders about the conversation?
Really?
Fuck that.
My kids watched “ELF” about a thousand times this Christmas. And every time I walked by the television, Buddy was testing the “fake” Santa (the one who smells like beef and cheese) by asking him this:
“If you’re the real Santa then what song did I sing you on your birthday?”
I’d chuckle every time.
But YOU made me laugh out loud. You are so much funnier than the fake Santa. (And I suppose it’s unlikely you smell like beef and cheese.)
Good luck with “the thing”. Really.
I do not smell like beef and cheese!
I smell of soap and peanut butter and licorice at the moment.
A lovely combination.
And thank you . . . I am off to kick this thing’s ass.
Without Mark’s help.
Apparently.
Clearly my husband has brother from another mother b/c he sounds JUST LIKE MARK! I’m so sorry…annoyingness like that is something I wish no one else had to share/suffer with as well. Good thing he has a nice ass. It’s what attracted me to him in the first place, and what keeps him around at times now. Just sayin’!
Wait.
How do you know anything about Mark’s ass?
And you are attracted to Mark? Mark is hanging around at your place?
Oh, I am going to kick his lovely ass.
What?
HA! plus, SNORT! I almost commented on my own post before you had a chance b/c after I re-read it I realized “he” was a little too vague in this context…let me specify: my husband, he has the hot ass. And said hot ass has saved him (him being my husband, not Mark) on many an occassion. No need to kick Mark’s “lovely ass”!
Whew!
Turns out Mark’s ass is mine.
As always.
What?
What is with husbands?? Don’t they know that this is their one job? I mean, in theory they’re supposed to take out the trash, but we all know we end up gathering all of it and setting it by the door, thereby the act of taking it to the curb isn’t REALLY the chore of taking out the trash. So the one job they actually have? To listen and remember. Big fail, buddy.
Thank you.
Hear that, Mark?
Big fucking fail.
You should have “Kris wants me to listen. And then later? She wants me to remember what she has said.” embroidered on a throw pillow then leave it on Mark’s side of the bed.
Can you hire people to do embroidery?
I am not an embroidery sort of person.
Maybe a Sharpie marker message . . . across his chest in reverse . . . so that it’s there to remind him when he stand in front of the bathroom mirror in the morning.
Yes!
Ahem.
I’m sure you could find someone but I think I like your idea better. Does he read all the comments? Just do it while he sleeps :)
Mark does read all my comments.
He is laughing and protesting in the background as I type this.
Snort!
Yes! A sharpie marker!
I really like this idea. *looking for sharpies now*
I have Sharpies in all the colors of the rainbow!
Bwahahahaha!
Then, take a picture of him and put it in a frame on his nightstand. You know, for good measure.
Snort!
You are all vindictive and cruel!
I like it!
Me Too! I bought them at Costco! hee hee!
Yes! Costco!
Snort!
I do embroidery! I am so going to attempt to embroider that! It’s kind of long, can’t we just do something simple like LISTEN TO KRIS? ha
You know how you can special-order ink stamps?
Yes.
That would be perfect.
Ka-chunk.
Right on his forehead . . . LISTEN TO KRIS!
Why do I so keep hearing
ka-chunk
Ka-chunk
Ka-chunk
Like a million times over
you could so stamp EVERYTHING!
That . . . would . . . be . . . awesome.
Ka-chunk.
Oooooh that is bad. I would be devastated. If I have to be all raw and emotional about it all over again to explain it, then I am seriously angry.
I had a boyfriend once who was a mumbler. I would call out to him as he would be leaving, things like:
Did you call so and so?
Don’t forget to pick me up at such and such
What did you decide about what I asked you regarding …
and he would MUMBLE incoherently and scram.
Later I would call him out on it–Hey you agreed/heard me/said you would……
and because he mumbled? He would get to say ” I never said that.”
I would be tempted to put a post it on Marc’s forehead that read, pay attention to the important stuff or I won’t be paying attention to your …um …important STUFF
bwhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaa
I have been married too long to be devastated.
Mark is lovely. He is not always perfectly attuned to my needs, but I would imagine he would argue I am not always perfectly attuned to his either.
And I never threaten to withhold attention to Mark’s important stuff.
Mark knows that would be an empty threat.
Ahem.
Good for you!! No really—G O O D for you : ]
I hope you get that worked out. You seem to have an even hand when dealing with criticism.
BOOOO to whoever upset you to begin with
BOOOOOOO!!!! (like in the scene from princess bride)
I look just like the lady who BOOOOS Buttercup in her dream–
HA!
Guess what?
I don’t believe I have ever seen the movie Princess Bride.
Pretty sure.
As for the other?
You know how when someone pisses you off, but it’s not really about that person? You just get all triggered and annoyed? And then can’t let it go?
Yes.
But today, I am letting it go.
Mark will not notice when there is no longer an issue.
All the same to him.
Snort!
Uhm!!! Never seen the princess bride? This is alarming.
“Mawwiage…”
Hmmm.
I believe this alarming failure has been pointed out to me before.
Making a note.
ah, your inner Buddhist shines forth. Just let it be. Don’t give that person power over you. OM, baby.
I am solving the problem.
Thanks, you.
Oh I am so with you on this! My husband says I talk a lot too…or at least I did. Now I stay home with my 1 year old and the only thing that comes out of my mouth is gibberish. ANYWAY…he never seems to remember the conversations that I want him to remember…or he remembers very generic details of it and what I really need him to remember are the specifics. Urgh!
I do talk a lot.
And lately I have been talking more than I usually do.
Still annoying.
Mark needs to up his listening.
That made me laugh loudly. I can see this happening in my husbsnd’s face when I am talking about A Thing. At that point, I tell him, “You are part of the furniture. That us what you are right now”. Then I sit on him and he does not forget. A Thing.
You? The Thing should be very afraid right now. Very, very afraid.
OH, I like your furniture idea!
That’s awesome!
And yes . . . the thing is going to get its ass kicked.
Yes.
This made me both laugh and want to scream out of frustration (with?) for you. I have had many conversations with my husband that have been “tossed” by him. I can remember exactly where we sat, what we had for dinner, and his response to my issue, yet, he can’t even remember having a damn conversation with me.
Yes.
Although, in fairness?
I have been having a difficult time this last little stretch, and I have dumped a lot of garbage on Mark.
He’s right, I do talk a lot.
But yeah . . . I hate when he dumps entire conversations into which I dumped my whole being.
Hate when that happens.
Sigh.
Plus also?
Mark is giggling and waving his note as I type.
Snort!
Hubby dear cannot remember what I said to him 10 minutes ago. And I do not talk a lot. I may yell, whine, bitch and growl a lot. He sometimes remembers if I threaten physical violence.
He is excellent at not hearing. Even when he wears the hearing aids. And the hearing aids? Come out the minutes he gets home.
Very annoying. But? I get to say some very creative things when the hearing aids are out.
Oh, if Mark wore hearing aids (and he does not) . . . but if he did?
He would so take them out and then just not listen for long stretches of time.
Like I said . . . he like to play fast and loose with his well-being.
Snort!
You should send him re-cap texts or emails. You know, like they do at the beginning of The Amazing Race? Look remember last week when that one chick got hit in the face with a watermelon? Here’s a clip.
Yep. Mark needs a re-cap. Maybe all men do?
Oh my god.
I have unlimited texting now!
I so should have texted him an re-cap!
That is genius!
Seriously . . . I am so going to do that next time!
Glad to be helpful at one thing today.
Unlimited texting is a nice little gift from the sweet little baby Jeebus.
Yes . . . I am liking the texting thing.
Real life friends?
I have texting now!
Yay!
Like button!!
My reply was about sending men decals. Though unlimited testing has merit.
Sigh. Re caps not decals How do men with their big hands ever enter stuff on the phone when I can’t using my delicate little girlie hands?
You are making me giggle hysterically, silly you.
Oh, Mark.
Poor, foolish Mark.
Behaving like a green newlywed there, and I know he’s not.
Good luck, by the way, kicking The Thing’s ass. My tenner’s on you.
I know . . . Poor foolish Mark, indeed.
Like he is not going to pay for this shit.
And I am spending time today on the thing.
Ass kicking has commenced.
yay!
I think my husband may be leading a double life.
And apparently he has a REALLY fast car that I don’t know about (since Lake Oswego is one hell of a commute)
NotJustAnotherJennifer might be on to something though.
Men are supposed to take out the trash and pay attention. That is the man’s job. And I think he got his duties mixed up.
Hence the tossing.
PS I JUST received your Christmas card and letter (I did not read your post as I wanted to wait for the real thing.) I have three comments:
1) I adore Maj’s and Kallan’s freckles. The girls, and their, freckles are bundles of cuteness.
2) My little boy saw the girls, asked who they were and, when I told him their names, said “I love Maj and Kallan!!”
3) The mental picture of all the Christmas cupping made my day!
You just received my card?
What the hell, U.S. Postal Service?
As for your points?
1) Thank you!
2) That is so sweet.
3) Snort! Christmas cupping . . . snort!
Love you!
You mean there are some who listen and retain stuff?
Really?
Can you send Mark in for testing?
Possible duplication…
What are you views on cloning?!?!?!?!
Does he have brothers you could send to the east coast?
Geesh my children don’t retain what I tell them…
*sigh*
So, what did you do about “the thing”?
M
Mark generally listens.
He does.
I have been talking a lot lately without resolving things.
He’s right about that.
Sigh.
So today, I am kicking this particular thing’s ass.
Tomorrow?
Who knows?
Don’t piss me off.
That’s all I’m saying.
Snort!
Sweetie, seriously… I would try hard NOT to piss you off. You pissy coming after me would scare the freaky freak out of me.
(sorry, my 11 yr old is reading over my shoulder…)
As for talking but not resolving – that step is massive. MASSIVE. Pushing for resolution is tiring. I hope yours goes better than my own.
Kick some ass Babe – just not mine.
M
Yes, ass is being kicked.
I should not have let it go this long.
Thank you, babe.
Thank you very much.