People?
If you have not gone over to Haven’s blog and read every single post she has put up over there? You are missing out. You really really are. Click on her Featured Blogger photo just over there on the right.
Or click through to her latest post . . . CLICK.
If you have not had a chance to check out this month’s Psychophant link? Do that!
Amy added far more than 50 new people to Pretty All True’s Facebook fan page in just a single day, and in exchange? I am delighted to be hosting her link to the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation. Click through and check them out . . . a very worthy cause.
Plus? Amy is all kinds of adorable. Roll your mouse right over there and check her out.
If you’re anything like me? You will roll over both ladies’ photos just so you can make it look like the little mouse pointy-finger curser is picking their noses.
No way I am the only one who thinks that’s funny.
Ahem.
Today, here on Pretty All True, I bring you more genius from Maj.
Maj has been on something of a genius streak, lately.
Here she is:
1) Looking sadly at her half of the last biscuit, which I have cut into two equal pieces . . .
“This is something less than half of a biscuit, Mother. Look at it! It’s a disgrace to breadkind!”
2) Crabbily agreeing to walk her sister to the end of the driveway . . .
“Really? The after-dinner air between here and the end of our driveway is overwhelming? Fine. Let me join you on this dark and perilous journey to the mailbox.”
3) Wiggling her booty at me in the middle of Taco Bell . . .
“Look at me, Mother! I am thinking outside my buns! Do it, Mother! Think outside my buns!”
4) Calmly explaining to an incredulous Kallan how she and Daddy have come home from the grocery store with no ice cream . . .
“Listen, Kallan. Daddy didn’t ask me if I wanted ice cream. He asked me if we needed ice cream. Ice cream is not a need, so I said no. You need to take this up with Daddy.”
5) To Mark, after he regaled us with tales of the new router he has purchased . . .
“Well, well, well. Aren’t you a fancy man?”
6) Matter-of-factly, after we have wandered through an office supply store looking for Mark . . .
“Obviously, Daddy has abandoned us. I hope you got the keys, Mother. If he’s fleeing on foot, we should be able to catch him.”
7) Looking at a box that contains a whirlpool foot bath . . .
“I just want to be clear . . . this is for those times when your feet are dirty but the rest of you does not need cleaning?”
8) Puzzled, after Mark has explained that we will get a refill of our giant movie popcorn tub as we are headed out of the theater . . .
“Where are you going to find this popcorn-loving homeless person? What? Not homeless but taking it home with us? Oh, that’s different. Good idea, Daddy!”
9) To me, as she lounges on the living room couch . . .
“If anyone asks, Mother? Tell them I am bored out of my gut. I am out of my gut with boredom.”
10) In the car, on the way to school so that Maj can work as a crossing guard before class starts . . .
“NO! No, I will not calm down and I will not be quiet! Are you perhaps unaware that I am about to be ONE MINUTE LATE? Good job, Mother. Be very proud. Let me just tell you THIS, Mother. If there’s a flattied child in a crosswalk when I get there, I’m blaming you.”
Happy Friday, people!
Much love and sass to you!
I totally picked my own nose with the mouse.
And Amy’s also.
I look all pissed that you are touching my nose though. So doing Amy’s is funner. Because she is enjoying it.
Amy is kinky.
Also Maj is growing more and more hilarious by the day. You should watch out.
Soon the cops will be like: “Nope. It wasn’t a surfing accident. It appears they have all suffocated. I think they… laughed to death.”
Also I am really sad that you said The Adjustment Bureau sucked… I wanted to see that movie… And I never wanna see ANY movies.
Haven -
The virtual nose-picking never gets old. I am not actually that mature.
And you’re right! Amy does look like she’s enjoying it! She’s a freak.
As for the movie?
I will tell you that Mark thought it was awesome. Take from that what you will. He tends to like stuff that is popular, so this movie will likely do very well.
I thought it was dreadful.
Just dreadful.
I almost fell asleep.
I didn’t, but almost.
I do enjoy it. What I enjoy more? Being on top. Tee hee!
Sassy dirty-minded you!
Love that.
I hate it when there’s a flattied child because I was late…
Love the Maj-isms!
Amy -
Maj gets SO PISSED when she is late.
So pissed.
That’s one area where Maj and I would never get along, I’m chronically five minutes late to everything. People actually tell me that things start earlier than they actually do just so I make it on time. :-/
Amy -
I am always on time. Always.
Unless just before we leave (early, as always), there is a squabble over who has used what hairbrush and whose turn it is in the bathroom and who called who a pooty-pants.
And then there is a delay.
Snort!
How old is Maj again? She is hysterical!
Sharon -
Maj is 11. She will be 12 in May.
She really talks like this.
She really does.
Honey, you’re gonna have SOME stuff going on when she becomes a teenager ;-)
Yes, I know.
Sigh.
Oh…My…God! Much shrieking with laughter over here! So much so that I startled both cats; one leaped straight into the air from a dead sleep, the other fell off the top of the cat tree.
Oh, how I love Maj! And you!
*wanders off to find the screen cleaner to remove the Pepsi someone (ahem!) sprayed all over the monitor*
Snickery snort!
Katie -
Happy sighs. Maj makes me giggle constantly. She also drives me mad, but she is hilarious.
So glad you laughed!
YAY!
“I am thinking outside my buns!” <– I am dead on the floor.
You do know that the next time I am at Taco Bell I will be shaking my butt and thinking of you and Maj.
And? I am sad to hear that The Adjustment Bureau sucked. But that's how it goes. The ones that look good on previews always suck and the ones that look sucky on the previews are usually pretty good.
Plus also? I remembered to vote today!
You didn’t have to yell at me!
Yay!
And I also did the mousey-pointer finger in the nose thing. So much fun.
I am still a kid at heart.
Stasha -
That wiggly butt in Taco Bell cracked me all the fuck up. She is normally so serious and not inclined to draw attention to herself in public. I love that she loosens up and is silly once in a while.
And Mark LOVED the movie.
Just so you know.
And thank you!
For the votes and the nose-picking.
Hee hee!
I think Haven has the perfect picture for mouse nose picking…I feel like I’m really mining for something.
I wish I was as funny and geniusy as Maj. I particularly like the flattied children.
Ok, I don’t actually like flattied children…that would be cruel.
I like Maj’s concern for children becoming flattied.
Yes. That is it.
Ms. WTH -
Maj is not as concerned with the flattied children as she is with her schedule.
At all.
Snort!
Maj needs her own blog.
Maj One Liners
My fav here:
“Obviously, Daddy has abandoned us. I hope you got the keys, Mother. If he’s fleeing on foot, we should be able to catch him.”
Oh and by the way, I clicked you babe, at work and at home.
heee
PS I got a picture of Ben (of the unicorns) in my email today
are you jealous?
heeeeeeeeee
of course that is not all, being over here means that is never all
Amy -
Thank you for the clicks!
As for the photo? If I had a way to STOP EVERYONE IN THE INTERNET FROM POSTING PHOTOS OF THEMSELVES? I would so do that.
Seriously.
I have a vision in my mind of Ben.
I do not want to be forced to reconcile that with reality.
Seriously.
Sigh.
Tell him not to send me that photo.
Ack.
Flattied Child.
Outside the Buns.
Fancy Man.
There is such a story in there. I would die of withdrawal if I did not stop here.
I will dream of flat children tonight.
Wait! Who the hell doesn’t need ice cream??
Renee -
You will dream of flat children tonight?
Snort!
And I know . . . Everyone needs ice cream.
Maj does enjoy torturing her sister from time to time.
She so does.
i totally picked both haven and amy’s noses!! LOL!!
and i love maj-isms! she is a riot!!! i love the way she talks, and how sassy she is!
i love it even more, because during those moments when she is screaming about being late, she lives with you and not me! :o) heheh!
Sarah -
Maj is fabulous and she is hysterically funny.
And there are also moments when I wish I didn’t have to be in the car with her.
Yeah.
First – “Look at me, Mother! I am thinking outside my buns! Do it, Mother! Think outside my buns!” LOL! Best thing ever.
Second – AWW you said I was adorable.
Third – My nose has never been so clean!
Snort!
PS – I love your bossiness! 7 people just clicked my blog link from your blog! Tee hee!
Amy -
Yay!
I am good at bossing . . . love it when the destination to which I am directing people is so awesome.
Happy nose-picking sighs.
A flattied child is like piss in your cornflakes; bound to ruin anyone’s morning.
Bwahahahaha!
Piss in your Corn Flakes?
I need to find a way to use that phrase around here.
Love that!
Love the sass.
Maj is awesome. Where do I get one?
Madeleine -
She may be a one-of-a-kind sort of awesome.
Snort!
#6 just about killed me.
Emily -
Yay for death by giggling!
What?
and she’s only going to get wittier. I can’t wait!
I am tired just thinking about it.
Plus giggly.
I am never going to be able to go to Taco Bell again without thinking outside my buns!
That is the most awesome line ever.
Snort!
Maj is a genius.
The end.