Did you check out the post I put up earlier about the new Featured Bloggers?
Amy, Julie, and Allie . . . three amazing writers.
Back here, the girls have been listening to a song by Cee Lo Green called F-U.
Yes, I know . . . that’s not even appropriate.
I have no good explanation. The song played perhaps 25 times before I really focused on the lyrics. I generally do listen to lyrics, but this song was like a piece of cotton candy. I was not the least bit concerned about my inattention.
Cotton candy does not tell you to fuck off, people.
Anyway, if you don’t listen to the lyrics, this song sounds all bubble-gummy and G-rated and bouncy. Love Cee Lo Green!
Wait . . . what did he say?
Actually, I never had that moment of “What did he say?”
I just wasn’t paying attention. Too busy being on guard against Rihanna’s latest . . . I smell sex in the air and it’s all yummy and also yes please hurt me with whips and chains because that sounds way sexy I want to be a bad girl and pain makes me happy you naughty boy.
Could someone please tell Rihanna that it is possible she is just slightly fucked up?
So Cee Lo Green’s song is playing happily in my car and in my house and I do not even care. Kallan is dancing to it and Maj is singing it, and I am thinking it’s kind of fabulous that the girls have found such a happy little bouncy song on which they both agree.
Play it again!
And then . . . . a friend sent me an email the other day, and she sent me a link to a song she thought I might enjoy. The song title was Fuck You, so I waited until after the girls had gone to sleep to click that link. Kiss the girls good-night, head downstairs to my computer, and . . . a little bit of grown-up musical inappropriateness.
OK, that is so weird! This song sounds just like that song the girls have been singing!
Oh, crap. This is the song the girls have been singing!
I search YouTube and discover that the girls have been listening to a slightly cleaner version in which Cee Lo Green says F-U instead of Fuck You, but even so?
I am not feeling like Mother of the Year.
So we are driving in the car this afternoon and a Top-20 countdown is playing and the #1 song of the week is Cee Lo Green’s F-U.
So as the song starts playing and the girls start singing, I reach to turn the volume down . . . we need to have a little chat.
“Ladies? I hadn’t really listened to the lyrics before, but this is actually a really inappropriate song.”
Kallan is puzzled, “Why?”
“Well, he says F-U, and that’s short for a swear word that you are not allowed to use.”
Now Maj is puzzled, “What?”
“The F in F-U . . . it stands for a bad word. I know you know what word I am talking about, and I’m just saying that now that I know what he’s saying, I think we might try to avoid this song.”
There is quiet for a moment as the girls think.
Finally, Kallan says, “I thought the F stood for Forget. I thought he was saying Forget you.”
Maj agrees, “Yeah, that’s what I thought too! That’s what we always sing, Mother. He’s talking to a girl who doesn’t love him because he doesn’t have any money. He is all crabby and he says Forget you to her and then Forget you to her new boyfriend too.”
Kallan leans forward, filled with delight, “Oh, I know what he means! Really? The F doesn’t stand for Forget at all? That’s what he’s saying? How do you know that, Mom?”
Kallan leans over to whisper in Maj’s ear, and then Maj is delighted as well, “Really? That changes the whole song!”
Kallan says, “Turn the volume up so we can listen!”
So I do.
Both girls happily sing their own G-rated version of the song along with Cee Lo Green.
Their version makes perfect sense.
The song ends.
Kallan is gleeful, “We would sooooo have never ever known about the swearing if you hadn’t told us, Mom.”
Maj is also pleased, “Yes, thank you Mother!”
Mark pulls the car into our driveway, kills the ignition, and turns to me, “Well done, babe. Really really nicely handled.”
That’s the dirty version . . . Duh.