We moved, and then . . .
In a tiny house on a small dirt road, we lived.
In the tiny house on the small dirt road, there were two bedrooms.
Six people at first, and then seven . . . in a tiny house on a small dirt road.
A road that went nowhere.
McCagg Street, it was called.
McCagg Street ran along the single row of eight tiny houses and then turned into what we called a “two-track” as it wandered off into the swamps and woods beyond.
Two-tracks had no names, as they went nowhere intentional and led to nowhere you would ever point to on a map with pride.
Which is not to say that nothing happened there.
Anyway.
I remember singing the spelling . . . M, little c, big C, a, g, g!
McCagg Street seemed like the end of the world.
The slippery edge of the world, beyond which lay darkness and swamps and forest.
The slippery edge of the world, beyond which lay darkness which sometimes came for a visit.
Anyway.
McCagg Street felt like forever and ever to me.
Ever after.
The end.
My mother made an attempt to make the tiny house a home. She hung sheets over the windows for curtains. She painted a big image of Snoopy on the dingy bathroom wall. She hung maps of the world and of the United States on the walls next to our table.
At mealtimes, she would quiz us about places on the maps.
I played along, but I could not have cared less.
When you are hanging onto the edge of the slippery world by your fingertips, the names of the states through which you would have to drive to get from Michigan to California were meaningless.
Where was Australia?
Over there . . . by Mars and the Big Rock Candy Mountain and all the other imaginary places I was never going to go.
How do I get to tomorrow, Mom?
Where is tomorrow?
Sigh.
The day would eventually come when I would make that drive from Michigan to California, and I remember my mother being all pissed off that I didn’t know the names of the states through which we would pass.
“But I taught you that! Don’t you remember those maps?”
“I remember the maps, Mom. I remember the look of them and the feel of them. I remember the folds of the paper and the food stains that were left by our grubby pointing hands. I remember that Australia was surrounded by blue.”
“Just try, Kris. We’re in Iowa . . . picture the map . . . what’s the next state?”
“Louisiana?”
She was incredulous, “Really? How will you ever know how to get from here to there?”
Indeed.
How to explain how tiny my world had been?
How impossible it had been to see beyond McCagg Street?
Oh, wait!
Speaking of limited views and larger horizons unseen?
Guess what, people? I have decided I have had enough of Top Mommy Blogs.
Quite enough, thank you.
I am so grateful to all of you who have ever voted for me over there.
I have been #1 on Top Mommy Blogs for quite a long time.
I am #1 right now.
I am so very grateful to all of you.
But . . .
I have been listed on that site for just a little over a year, and I think that’s enough.
I am tired of the lame juggling woman. I am tired of continually asking for votes. I am tired of the voting request at the end of all of my posts.
I am tired of being identified as a “Mommy Blogger.”
I am tired of living on that smallish dirt road in my imagination.
Over it.
So stop voting for me.
Seriously.
For those of you who use the Top Mommy Blog website as a way to access Pretty All True?
MAKE A NOTE, because I won’t be there anymore.
Follow Pretty All True on Facebook.
Follow Pretty All True on Twitter.
Get Pretty All True by email.
Get Pretty All True in an RSS feed.
Bookmark the website . . . www.prettyalltrue.com.
But make a note.
Pretty All True will be coming off of Top Mommy Blogs at the end of the day today.
Onward and upward, people.
I will keep you posted regarding new destinations.
I will possibly need a map.
Snort!
Happy sighs.
Look! No voting link!
That is pretty fucking awesome.
YAY!
And so ends an era…
I’m glad your world is larger now, or I wouldn’t have met you.
Kelly -
Yes, me too.
Yay for expanding horizons and new friendships!
I’m so glad you were on TMB, that’s how I found you. I understand a lot that you don’t want to be there anymore.
Brandi -
So glad to have connected with you, but it’s time to move along.
I am done there.
But I am not done.
You’ll see.
I need something new to clit, I mean click.
Heather -
I will get to work on that.
What?
Confession: I’ve never voted for you or anyone for that matter on TMB. So I’m totally okay with you not being there anymore. You’re the one blog that I check daily so in my book you’re number 1 regardless.
Mandie -
This is an announcement that really only matters to me.
Hard to let go of something that has been successful.
But I got tired of playing that game.
So relieved to be done with that.
YAY!
I hear that!
Thanks, lovely you!
Your tags absolutely crack me up!
On to better things!
I have no problem calling myself a mommy blogger, but I’ve never been a part of that site.
Shell -
To me, there are mommy bloggers and there are mommy bloggers.
I need a place with more of my sort.
Ahem.
I only found TMB by reading you. It’s not somewhere I hang out.
Kris, I’m glad you found the next day. And days after that.
I’m glad I found you.
Renee -
I am so happy to have connected with you, babe.
So happy to have found you.
Thank you.
Kris
i’m not going to lie to you. I only clicked to vote when you got incredibly emotionally bossy about it.
i do not understand those sites. have never been a part of one.
huh. maybe this is why it has taken me 3.5 years to meet this many people.
oh well.
yay for no juggling woman!
yay for bigger and better!
yay with you being #1 all on your own!
because I read your words no matter what.
Snort!
That’s the only way to get votes . . . get all worked up over nothing.
But getting all worked up over nothing was starting to wear on me.
So I am done with that.
On to the next thing.
And thank you.
but it’s not nothing at the time. only until we decide it’s nothing.
and do you see? I am trying to stay all caught up with you. because I miss you.
Katie -
If I do something? I always go all the way. I commit 100%, even to the stupidity.
I am a nut.
But when I am done?
I am done.
Next!
Good for you for breaking up with the juggling woman, I have ended my days of harassing people for votes too.
And you used to live in Michigan? That’s where I am. In fact I think I’m the only blogger left here.
Jessica -
Yup. I lived in Michigan from the age of 8-16.
A beautiful place.
And there are a LOT of bloggers in Michigan!
Katie Sluiter commenting right here beside you among them.
I forgot that Katie did, we are so far from each other though. What area were you in? I’m in Southeastern MI.
We lived in Twin Lake . . went to school in Whitehall.
Not too far from Muskegon.
West side of the state.
You are #1 in my book no matter what. I don’t need a little juggling woman to tell me that.
Of course I didn’t find you through TMB anyway so fuck them.
I thank Kmama for leading me to you.
So glad she did.
So glad.
Stasha -
Thank you, babe!
I love KMAMA. Love her.
And Top Mommy Blogs was useful for a time, but it has stopped serving it purpose.
So yes . . . Fuck them.
Yay!
Ahem.
Good for you, lady. I don’t think of you as a “mommy blogger” anyway. I mean, you have yet to give me one fucking recipe or tip about how to clean my house. Well, with the possible exception of the time your dog shit in the bathtub. I guess I now know how to handle that situation should it ever arise. Enjoy your new found freedom!
Amber -
Thank you! That is exactly it . . . I had gotten tied down to Top Mommy Blogs. Too concerned with where I was in the rankings when it didn’t matter at all. That’s not even a contest I want to win.
So let’s find something I want to win.
Yes.
Thank you.
Kris
Exactly! Also, I forgot to mention that I have no idea which states are between Michigan and California either. Maybe some of the rectangular ones?
Amber -
Yes!
There are a lot of anonymous rectangles in the middle of our country!
What’s up with that?
Ok I am good with this. I don’t go to those sites. I found you on twitter. Though I’m not sure how that happened either.
Not that it’s a bad thing. Finding you on twitter that is. It was a very good thing.
And I only voted because I got that you were competitive. And if you are going to run? You want to be #1. And? Having read how excited we all get when we are the first commentor??? Yeah I think your readers totally get it. Lol!
I have to figure out this RSS thing.
Hmmm.
Lizzie -
Exactly. I am very competitive, and once I decide to do something? I am going to do it as well as I can do it . . . 100%.
All the fuck out.
But once I am done, I am done.
And I am done.
And the RSS feed thing is really easy.
Let me know if you have problems.
Yay! I have added you to my RSS feed. Now I will actually use the RSS app!
My husband laughs at me because I download all these apps on my iPhone and never use them.
What? They are free. And I am all geeky like that.
Smirk.
Hee hee!
On my iPhone, I know how to do only certain things.
Cool things, but those things and no more.
Mark is forever telling me what other cool things I could do on my iPhone.
Nah.
You are AWESOME for figuring out the RSS app!
Go you!
I have about 20 games on my phone. You know the only one I play? Yup that’s right. Solitaire.
And sometimes smash the bubble wrap.
And? I kill my battery regularly using twitter, playing solitaire, surfing the web, reading stories, and using the map function.
Notice something missing here????
Yup. Phone usage. And texting.
Oh yeah, I guess it’s primary purpose is the one I almost never use it for.
Yeah.
Snort!
The only game I ever play on my computer?
Solitaire.
YAY!
Angry Birds?
What’s that?
Good for you for expanding your horizons. You’re meant for better stuff.
David -
Thank you.
Now I just have to figure out what the next step is.
Snort!
No you don’t. Just stay open to change, and it will emerge. Emergent behavior works for ants and bees, so why not for bloggers?
Hmmm . . . you think?
I’m serious: I do think your new thing will emerge. Just keep experimenting, plumbing the depths of your incredible life (it does help to have a somewhat unbelievable supporting cast), and avoiding being pigeonholed (can’t for the life of me think of you as a mommy blogger…) and I’m sure that something (or things) will resonate with you and your readers. For the last 20 years I’ve always invented my jobs based on what worked for me, rather than someone else’s preconceptions, and I’m sure you can do the same.
What hubris! Me suggesting what you should do? That’s guaranteed to have a diametrically opposite effect! Go about your business, babe. You’ll figure it out.
Who knows what I’ll do next?
Bwhahahahaha!
Just one request: your style — so lean, with each word saying so much — is so special. Even if something else emerges, ever so often throw us a bone by doing one in this style. I don’t know of anyone else who can approach your economy of style — both a gift and a much-practiced skill. *sigh*
I am stubborn and I am always me.
Silly you.
You know that.
oh yes, do I know that….
Ahem.
Unlike everyone else here, I’m actually sorry to see you go. This is where I found you.
I will so miss seeing you at the top of the page.
Although now my friend Lori will be #1, so yay for her!
I need to follow in your footsteps and quit, b/c I never seem to move anymore anyway.
But I guess there could be worse things than being perpetually 16, right?
I’ll still follow you. But I’ll miss you anyway.
Anne -
Yay for Lori! Lori is amazing.
She so is.
You won’t miss me . . . I will be right here!
Way easy to find.
Good for you. :)
Amy -
Thank you.
Needed to take a bit of control. Figure out the next step. I got stuck there for a bit.
Thank you.