Saturday afternoon at the bookstore.
I have mentioned before that I hate vampire stories.
I just do. Which means I have never read the Twilight series.
Maj reads endlessly, but she is not interested in fantasy stories, and so Twilight has never come up.
And by the way, Maj reads so much that I have stopped supervising what she is reading. She comes to me if she has a question, but I no longer have the time or the inclination to try to stay ahead of Maj. Maj is a reading fiend.
As far as I am concerned, Maj may now read whatever she wants to read.
I trust Maj.
I trust nine year old Kallan slightly less.
Kallan stands before me in the bookstore with a copy of Twilight, “I want to buy this.”
I take the thick paperback from her hands, “Really? I’m not sure this is appropriate for you.”
Kallan crosses her arms stubbornly, “I am not a baby, and I want to read it.”
I flip through the pages, “OK, I will make you a deal. I will buy this book, but I am going to read it first. If I read it and decide it’s acceptable, then you can read it.”
Kallan smiles, “Yay!”
“I need you to understand that this does not mean you get to read this book. I need to read it first to make a decision.”
“Got it . . . yay!” Kallan runs off in search of more books.
Maj is on me in an instant, “ARE YOU KIDDING ME? SHE IS A CHILD, MOTHER!”
“Well, hello other child of mine whose business this is not. Bring your voice down.”
“SHE IS A CHILD AND SHE NEEDS TO STAY OVER THERE IN THE CHILDREN’S SECTION.”
I explain that I am going to read the book first.
“WHAT SORT OF MOTHER ARE YOU? YOU ARE GOING TO LET A SMALL CHILD READ A GROWN-UP BOOK FILLED WITH INAPPROPRIATENESS? GOOD CALL, MOTHER. I AM SO IMPRESSED.”
“Sweetie, you are not Kallan’s mom and you need to stop sassing me about the decisions I make. I will read it first, and I will decide if Kallan can read it. I will decide. Not you. Me.”
“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? THERE ARE RULES, MOTHER. RULES AND GUIDELINES, MOTHER. YOU ARE IN VIOLATION!”
“Hush, Maj.”
“I WILL NOT HUSH. I WILL BE HEARD. YOU ARE IN VIOLATION!”
“Maj, you are annoying me. Turn your volume down or you are leaving the store.”
Maj glares at me, “Fine. I will turn down the volume, but this is an outrage! She is not even ten years old. THIS IS AN OUTRAGE AND A VIOLATION!”
“You are welcome to read the book, Maj.”
“THAT IS NOT THE POINT! SHE IS NINE!”
Ooooooh . . . wait.
“Hey, Maj?”
“Yes, Mother?”
“What if there was a way to maintain your big-sister status and completely annoy Kallan at the same time?”
“I’m listening.”
“OK, what if Kallan can’t read the book until you read it and OK it?”
“Really?”
“Yes! This is perfect, because I don’t want to read the book anyway. Yes, you read it and you decide if Kallan can read it.”
Maj thinks for a minute, “What if I decide she can’t read it?”
“If you decide she can’t read it, then I won’t let her read it. I trust you.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“Kallan isn’t going to like this.”
“No, she isn’t. You have to promise this is the very next book you read, so she doesn’t have to wait too long for a decision . . . Deal?”
Maj smiles, “Deal.”
Kallan is about as unthrilled with this plan as you might imagine.
So unthrilled that she is still bitching at me about it the next morning, “There is not another girl in the whole world who has to wait for her big sister to approve books. Maj is just going to tell me that I can’t read it, and that is completely unfair!”
“I trust Maj to make the right decision. It’s possible the book is not appropriate for you.”
Kallan wails, “That’s not fair! Why should Maj get to enjoy the inappropriate book? Anyway, what if it takes her forever to read the book? It’s a long book . . . I want your speed of first-reading, not Maj’s speed of first-reading. I’ll never get to read that book!”
“Kallan, I don’t think you appreciate how quickly your . . .”
And then there is Maj.
She walks into the room and hands Kallan the Twilight book, “Here.”
Kallan is stunned.
Maj sits next to me on the couch, “It’s actually a really really good book. I did some research and asked my friends, and it seems like the books get more adult as the series goes on. This one is fine, though. It’s really good.”
Kallan is still stunned and silent, staring open-mouthed at her sister.
Maj looks at me, “Can we go to the library later? I want to check out the next book in the series.”
“Sure.”
Kallan holds the fat paperback in the air and finds her voice, “We just bought this yesterday. Are you saying you read this book since yesterday?”
Maj nods, “What’s your point?”
Kallan races happily from the room with the book, stopping long enough to hug her protesting sister, “Thank you, Maj!”
I lean over to kiss Maj on the head, “Good job, Maj. I am very proud of you.”
She giggles, “I was tempted to tell her she couldn’t read it, but that wouldn’t have been right. She’ll love that book.”
“You are a good big sister, babe.”
Maj sighs, “Sometimes it’s hard being the big sister to Kallan. She keeps doing everything I get to do, and she is taller than I am. She’s all opposite of me in a big loud bouncy way. It’s hard to feel like her big sister. I want to feel like some stuff is just for me.”
“Yeah, I get that.”
She snuggles into my side, “So thank you, Mother.”
“You’re welcome, Maj.”
“Mother?”
“Yes?”
“As long as we are having this moment, I would like to suggest that you are not properly limiting or supervising Kallan’s texting or cell phone use. Plus, she did not fix her bed this morning, and she lied about eating only one Pop-Tart. Also? Her skirt is far too short and she needs to change her outfit.”
“Really, Maj?”
“Really, Mother.”
Sigh.
People?
Did you notice I got out of reading the vampire book?
Yay!
Ahem.
I read fast as well. I read the Twilight series while pregnant with O and on bed rest…after the first book they definitely become less and less appropriate for young girls, not so much in a graphic way, but in an ideals kinda way, at least to me. The movies are shit.
CJ -
Guaranteed Kallan will love the shitty movies. Guaranteed. Snort!
Maj tends to HATE movies made from books she likes. I love that about her, as I am the same way.
I will probably have to break down and read the next books in the series before Kallan.
Annoying.
Those are not vampire books. The “vampires” sparkle in sunlight. Sigh. And Edward is domineering stalker. And yes I read them all. I taught 8th grade. It was a job requirement. I swear.
Has Maj read The Hunger Games? I think she’d like them. I’d be interested to hear her take on them.
Duffy -
Someone else mentioned The Hunger Games recently . . . I will have to look that up.
I am forever running out of things to suggest for Maj to read. She hates teen crap, she hates most fantasy, she hates science fiction, and she is not a big fan of boy meets girl stuff either.
She likes well-told fiction that might be real.
She like well-told truth that might be imaginary.
Mostly, she likes a story well told.
Does that make sense?
Ditto the Hunger Games trilogy recommendation – even my son (12) who is NOT a fan of reading devoured the books. :)
Geez!
It’s unanimous and overwhelming . . . The Hunger Games it is!
The American Library Association puts together some awesome lists. Here is a link to their young adult lists: http://www.ala.org/ala/mgrps/divs/yalsa/booklistsawards/bestbooksya/bbyahome.cfm
Thanks, you!
Kris
I loved the Hunger Games. Ben is 11 and read all three. For his book report project at school he is making a board game based on the first book.
that is all
That is awesome.
SO happy to see someone else agrees with me that this book glorifies stalking! I hated this book, it mortified me that girls mooned over that and thought it was so amazing…I get all heated up so I’ll stop now!
Julie -
Ugh.
Really?
Ugh.
Seriously, reading it made me cringe…it is NOT romantic to wake up to a dude watching you in your room, it is just NOT! But now so many young girls that don’t know better will think it’s love if that happens….man, I get riled, sorry!
Julie -
That sort of nonsense is not limited to vampire books.
Trust me, I know.
How awesome. ;) Totally funny how she made her decision.
I know.
She cracks me up.
I think your plan was brilliant.
And?
For a moment there?
You actually had Maj’s approval.
Savor the moment, Kris.
Another one?
May not come along anytime soon.
Just sayin’.
Sue -
Maj and I have had a few good moments lately that I am banking against a rocky future.
Puberty is coming.
Ack.
I hate vampires and LOVED the Twilight series but can’t even sit through part of the movies. They’re horrid. (Could that be because my Edward is much more beautiful than that guy they cast? Yes, possibly! ;-) )
And I love how you handled that whole thing. Another tidbit to be filed into my ‘mommy resources’ that I’ll probably never have use for but will keep anyway. :-)
Sam -
Kallan knows the names of all the actors in the Twilight movies.
I have no clue.
I need to do research.
Sigh.
Kallan is the sort to LOVE vampires of the sparkly sort.
Sigh.
A slightly younger vampire series that is awesome is the Darkangel trilogy. At least I thought it was awesome when I was Kallen’s age. I think the author is Pierce, but I am far too lazy to look it up and check.
Thanks, Amy!
I will make a note to seek that out.
We read Twilight in my ultra-overly-educated-older-mommy-book club.
The ladies all loved it, hilarious. They said it brought them back to all the feelings of angst, unrequited love, sexual tension, etc, etc. She can write dialogue, but other than that, that book was shit. Good on you for getting out of it. Brilliant.
Theresa -
I know so many “ultra-overly-educated-older” women who adore this series of books for all the reasons you stated.
To which I say, in my most erudite and intellectual tone . . . BARF.
Ahem.
I’m with ya sista. I think just because Twilight was so popular, people think there must be something to it. Wrong. The feminists hate it btw,
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2010/jul/15/twilight-feminist-backlash-bella
Theresa -
How much do I love that you provided a link?
Hee hee!
Love that.
The Hunger Games are awesome! I devoured them in the last 2 weeks. (Never got into Twilight, but I tried…)
My 10 year old reads a lot too. Really enjoys Historical Fiction. Her current favorites are the Dear America Books, History Mysteries (by American Girl), and My America books.
Pam -
Maj read ALL of those series a few years ago. When she finds a series she likes, she DEVOURS the whole thing with astonishing speed.
I will definitely check out The Hunger Games.
Thanks!
Christopher Moore: yay!
Sparkly vampires: boo!
I am a judgmental fucker, I am.
Just you wait . . . there will come a moment when your daughter does not see the world as you do.
Just wait.
Also, that last thing you are?
Snort!
Ahem.
My mother had this weird policy where she was really, really strict about what TV we could watch, but we were allowed to read anything we wanted to read. I made myself the most popular kid in school when I was twelve by bringing in Jean Auel’s _Valley of Horses_ for a book report and letting other kids look at the interesting parts during recess. If only my mother had had Maj to supervise.
Oh, let me emphasize, the ‘most popular kid in school thing’ only lasted for as long as I had the book. The next day I was banished back to my usual untouchable status.
Momo -
I have that policy, but . . . there is just so much garbage aimed at young girls. SO MUCH GARBAGE. I try to steer a little bit. I try to steer and I try to get a sense for the kinds of things they are reading.
They both read far beyond their age levels.
And Kallan is prone to nightmares.
And Kallan is prone to lying.
And Kallan is likely to get in trouble with her friends’ parents when she shares.
Kallan needs supervision.
Maj much less.
To be clear . . . I mean that the library landscape has changed since I was a kid.
I remember feeling triumphant about checking out “A Tree Grows in Brooklyn” when I was 10 years old.
Kallan wants to read about garbage and gossip and sex.
She so does.
And our library is filled with garbage and gossip and sex.
It so is.
Could your middle name be Solomon?
Wouldn’t that be awesome?
Sadly, it is not.
Just regular old Ellen.
Nice parenting dodge!
I read all of the Twilight books — most of them in one or two sittings. Those books are like crack. You know they are terrible, but you can’t stop. And they do send a truly horrific message to girls about what it means to be in a relationship.
I’ll add my vote for The Hunger Games, which is a million times better all the way around. It raises issues that make you think — a brain stimulant, rather than the opiate known as Twilight.
OK, that description makes me want to seek out The Hunger Games for Maj.
A harder sell for Kallan I imagine. Kallan is all about sparkle and popularity. Any chance the book is about to be made into a trashy movie starring the people from Kallan’s gossip magazines?
Actually, it is about to be made into a movie. They’re probably going to cast mostly unknowns, but I guarantee you once the movie comes out those unknowns will be plastered all over the gossip rags. The Hunger Games is actually pretty hugely popular — it just got sadly eclipsed by the Twilight madness.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1392170/
Nic -
Oh, this sounds perfect!
We have had no vampires at our house until now, and if they must appear?
I would like for them to be smart.
Yay!
I have read the whole Twilight series. The books really aren’t that bad.
I let Kaylee read it. She is advanced with her reading so I had no worries about her reading the book.
She hasn’t read any of the other books in the series though.
The last book, Breaking Dawn, is the one you will probably have to read. There is sex in that book. Lots of it. In the beginning anyway.
Also?
Check into The Hunger Games. That series of books is awesome.
http://www.scholastic.com/thehungergames/
Here’s another link for The Hunger Games:
http://www.thehungergames.co.uk/
Several people have mentioned that series.
I will have to check it out.
Thank you!
I love this. I love that you did this, because it seriously sounds like something I will have to end up doing. My 4.5 year old has been reading since about 3 months after her 3rd birthday. The teachers at her preschool told me they have to pre-read the newspaper they put down during craft time, because Olivia will read it as they are doing crafts.
My youngest will be 3 in July. She is starting to string words together and spelling things out, so I know it will only be a matter of time until she is reading too.
As it is right now, I can’t keep up with the volume of children’s stories they want to read (I DO try to pre-read them all) so I can only see this being our situation in about 6 or 7 years.
I find it incredibly awesome you were able to get out of Twilight. I’m a Harry Potter fan. Everyone tells me I will love Twilight, but I can’t go there. I just…can’t.
I read the first of the Harry Potter books out loud to Maj a long time ago.
She wasn’t overly impressed, but she adored reading the book with me.
I don’t believe she has read the rest of that series.
And Kallan?
Kallan denounced the whole series as “boyish.”
The kiss of death.
Oh, and also?
I still remember the moment when Maj made the connection and figured out reading. A magical light-bulb moment in the middle of Christmas break.
She was 5.
She has never looked back.
Olivia is really into Star Wars and loves the movies/reading the books so I think she may get into Harry Potter when the time is right. But that may change once she starts getting more outside influences than preschool offers(like, next year).
My husband started reading The Hobbit to her because he has been dying to do so since before we even got pregnant. It’s cute. I don’t think she is quite following 100% but she enjoys daddy/daughter reading time and her brain can process hobbits/trolls/wizards and an adventure. We just don’t think she should have to think about parents dying (a’la Harry Potter) just yet.
Natalie -
The parents dying thing (and especially the mother dying) is more prevalent in children’s literature than you could possibly believe.
Never mind children’s movies.
Both of my daughters are quite clear that Mom needs to die so that the fun can begin.
Sigh.
Really?
That is just such an incredibly sucky message.
I’m beginning to realize it! I never thought about it as a kid, because I read all these books with that as a part of the plot and my Barbie adventures were always about the “head barbie” who was the older sister & the parents had died in an accident so she had to raise her younger siblings.
Practically every Disney movie has a dead mother or no parents at all. We are treading lightly as Olivia is super sensitive and I want to approach it as painlessly as possible (if that is even remotely an option).
*Sigh* It’s full of landmines, this parenting gig.
Natalie -
Seriously, when you start paying attention, you realize that there are very few children’s stories in which the parents are both alive and married to one another and reasonably happy.
What the hell?
It’s bizarre.
Have you considered The Narnia Chronicles?
Maj read and LOVED that whole series.
What about the Wrinkle In Time books? Madeline L’Engle breaks that dead parent stereotype. Dad is missing at the beginning, but not dead. Lovely books.
She has read them!
And they are indeed lovely.
When I was in 4th grade, I wanted to do my book report on Cujo. My teacher called my mom who basically replied that if the teacher wanted to assign a book report on a book of the students choice, then she should set boundries BEFORE the kid picks the book, and if I chose Cujo, it was my call.
It was one of the most important things my mother ever did- trusting me to pick out my own books. I love, love, LOVE that you give your daughters the same gift.
Sara -
Yes, I always got to read whatever I wanted to read. Always. One of the few real freedoms and luxuries of my childhood.
I do let the girls read whatever they want, but . . . I try to steer Kallan away from trash.
She does like glittery trash, that girl.
Snort!