Mother is feeling lazy today. So we, Maj and Kallan, have decided to take over.
What’s snorting in the lives of the blog readers?
Mother would like us to pass on a message:“I love my children dearly and I will give them anything they want.”
So, where’s that iPad I wanted, Mother?
By the way, this is Maj typing this first part. Mother is currently being lazy and enjoying a cup of coffee, while snorting her head off.
We the children would like to tell Mother’s readers that she doesn’t actually snort while reading something funny. She simply laughs, or donkey laughs. Well, I’m not sure if any of you are able to donkey laugh, that’s Mother’s specialty, so for this I am going to use a better phrase. When something is funny, I will put in parentheses . . . (insert donkey laugh here.)
She didn’t want us to be typing this, but we figured out the password to her computer. I am so smart! Well, Kallan actually did the “hacking” into mother’s laptop as she puts it, but then again it’s not a very hard password to guess (insert donkey laugh here).
Now here’s Kallan with some Mother news,
Hi, this is Kallan!
Mom is sitting over there with her cup of coffee drinking it and reading yesterday’s blog. She does that a lot and she does not let Maj or me ever read her “wonderful, laughable, snortable” blog. Mom just called Maj over to sit with her, and then Maj apparently said something funny so Mom LOLed otherwise known as “snorting.”
Maj is being annoying and now she is singing, “It is lovable, laughable, mommable fun with momdough.”
Then in a deep voice, “Fun to annoy, not to eat.”
Maj keeps yelling over to me, “Kallan, I am a faster typer than you.” And “remember you are only allowed to type as much as I did!” Also, by the way I am the one who got into Mom’s computer.
I was bored and I want to go to this carnival thing tonight. So I asked Mom and she said maybe because she had not typed her blog yet. So I said, “Fine I will type your blog for you!” I went over to Mom’s computer and she said, “You won’t be able to get into my computer because I have a password on it.” I typed in what I knew was her password, and “Welcome” the screen read. Mom needs a better password.
Now back to Maj.
This is Maj again.
A while back, I asked Mother for a swimming pool in our backyard. She said no of course. So I had this great idea. Mother should not let people read her blog for free!
I told Mother she should charge $10 a post for each person to read the post. If you signed up for a month of posts, you’d get a special deal of $250. You could also become a gold blog member, where you’d get special blog advantages- don’t want to spill what they are, but they’re pretty great- for only $500 a month!
Gold members would be able to comment, regular members would not. What could go wrong? I’d have a swimming pool in no time! Of course Mother said, “People will not pay that much to read my blog. And no you are not getting a swimming pool.”
I answered, “But why not? It’s a great idea!” She still hasn’t said yes. Sigh. Looks like there’s no swimming pool in my future.
Since I’m a faster typist (still Maj) I have decided to include more!
Maj bonuses! You know you want them.
I was sitting on our hammock with Mother and Kallan. I was showing her my painted toes. All of a sudden she started snorting. I couldn’t see what was so funny about my toes! They looked pretty regular to me. So I asked, “Mother, what do you find funny about my toenails?”
Mother, still giggling, replied, “They are just such an odd shape! Look at how big they are compared to mine and Kallan’s!” She shows me her and Kallan’s toes, which by the way are way too small and all squeezed together weirdly.
Kallan is laughing at my toes too now, “There are odd spaces between them!”
I was going to type more, but Mother is saying, “One more minute and then its Kal’s turn.” Can’t she see you people appreciate my fine humor?
I guess not, so here’s Kallan (but first, I want to assure you that my toes are completely normal).
This is Kallan again!
Maj’s toes are very weird, they have HUGE spaces in between them and they are all long and slender. She thinks her toes are perfectly normal but they are not. Before she was saying something sarcastic and she used her TOES to do air quotes! You are usually just supposed to make air quotes with your fingers. Mother burst out “snorting” which to Maj and me is VERY annoying. I started laughing (not snorting) and Mom and I were trying VERY hard not to laugh.
It did not work as planned and Maj got all annoyed and started yelling at us. We then stopped laughing.
I gave Mom the idea the other day that she should pay Maj and me every time she writes a blog about us. Why? Because she would not have anything to write about without Maj and me. Also, she should say every word we say exactly right even though her blog is called, “ Pretty All True.”
We should get paid. Really we should. I would have my own laptop in no time! Yay! All of the people out there who are reading this, start persuading Mom to pay us for writing about us.
Please for the loves of her life, her sweet little angels.
Really we are, no lie. I am sure she is going to approve. Maybe she will, anyway.
I need a new password.
Are off to the carnival.
Leave the girls a comment.
I will answer all comments when I return.
These girls kill me.
(insert donkey laugh here)