The doctor steps out of the room after consulting his charts and informing Kallan that she is of exactly average height and a little on the thin side.
Kallan is delighted, “I am taller than Maj plus thinner than Maj!”
I look at her, “Yes, your gold medals will be arriving by mail.”
“Those are good things! You should be happy!”
“I am happy with how tall you are and I am happy with how much you weigh. I am also happy with how tall Maj is and how much she weighs. You are both perfect.”
“But I am taller.”
“I prefer to just think of you as Kallan. You are taller than some people and shorter than others. It’s not a contest.”
Kallan (who is 10) looks happily down at her legs as she sits on the examination table in the doctor’s office, “I have stick legs.”
“Yes, babe. These stick legs are just standing in for your regular legs, which are apparently on back order.”
Kallan giggles and holds her legs out straight in front of her, pressing her hospital gown down around them, “These legs are standing in for my regular legs? That’s funny, Mom.”
“Silly stick-legged girl.”
She smooths the fabric again, “I like my stick legs.”
“What you have there are little girl legs, and they are perfect.”
“So these are not my woman legs?”
“Not a chance in hell, babe.”
She snorts, “You swore! Plus, you don’t know.”
“That’s true. Maybe you are my supermodel changeling child, and your real parents are tall and willowy and graceful and giraffe-legged.”
Kallan falls over sideways on the table, giggling hysterically, “You are SO my mom.”
I walk to lean over her and kiss her cheek, “I know, right? And as your mom, it is my duty to inform you that you are not going to grow up to be a supermodel. You will be gorgeous and perfect and fabulous and you will kick all kinds of ass, but you will not be six feet tall and you are not going to have stick legs.”
She giggles some more as I twirl . . . “Check it out, Kallan. Maybe a few inches taller. Maybe a bit more boob or a bit less butt . . . but pretty much? This is your future.”
Kallan watches me, “That’s not so bad.”
I twirl again, waving my hands in the air to highlight my various curves, “Yes, this has worked out just fine for me.”
She crinkles her nose,“You do have a little extra booty.”
I turn my back to her, put my hands on my hips, and shake my butt, “Define extra, babe. I am working all of this booty.”
“You are crazy, Mom.”
I shake my butt some more, “Yes, I know. I am working all of this booty and all of this crazy.”
“So you just work what you’ve got, even if what you’ve got is crazy and booty?”
“You are killing me . . . I am more than crazy booty, but yes . . . that’s the basic idea.”
“So I will just grow up and work what I’ve got?”
I dance over and high-five her, “Exactly. You just grow up and work what you’ve got.”
“And Maj will just grow up and work what she’s got?”
“You know that she will.”
“It really won’t matter, will it? Who is taller or who is thinner? We each get our own lives.”
I walk over to kiss her head again, “You are very smart, babe. Exactly. You get to be Kallan and no one else. Maj gets to be Maj and no one else. You are both incredibly fabulous, and I will love you both always.”
Kallan sits and swings her legs for a few minutes, “So is it alright that I like my little-girl stick legs?”
“Silly you. Your little-girl stick legs are adorable.”
“Plus strong.”
I nod, “Super strong.”
“Because I can ride my bike and do gymnastics and dance and flip upside-down on the bars at school and swing so high that I bump into space at the top and I can do my scooter and a cartwheel and a round-off and I can kick stuff and I can swim and I can walk the dogs and run super fast and skip and climb trees and . . . “
I put my hands on her bare knees and interrupt her list, “All with these legs. They are perfect. They are you.”
“So I will just work what I’ve got until my woman legs get here.”
I high-five her again, “Yes! That’s awesome.”
She stares into my eyes, “You think my woman legs are going to be cute?”
“I think your woman legs are going to kick ASS, babe.”
Kallan wraps her arms around herself and shrieks with glee, “You swore again!”
Hee hee!
I so fucking did.
