Maj is sitting alone in the living room, telling a sad story to no one in particular . . .
“Once upon a time there was a princess named Maj who generally lived her life in a state of great deprivation. One morning the evil queen came to Princess Maj and quite unexpectedly asked if Maj might want to choose the activity for the day. Princess Maj was overjoyed but at the same time fearful of the undoing powers of the younger Princess Kal, who was well-known to be the favorite of the evil queen and who had fearful powers of manipulation and dreadfulness plus the ability to weep on command. Maj held the promise of her day close to her heart and dreamed of a life in which the younger Princess Kal was perhaps run over by a steamroller or dropped from a very tall building into a lake of goose poo in which she drowned in spectacular fashion in front of many photographers who captured the moment of her goose-poo death so gloriously that they were all able to retire on the riches they made from selling their photos because in this pretend world people adored to see an evil princess get what she deserved. Anyway, Princess Maj gave serious thought to her choice of activity for the day, and she did her best to choose so that the younger princess would also be satisfied. This because even in make-believe worlds there is rarely a steamroller or a goose-poo drowning right when you need one, so to make a long story short, Princess Maj tried to choose so as to minimize conflict. Maj made her decision and went to the evil queen with great hopes. Maj described her plans for the day, and the evil queen thought for a moment and then called for the younger Princess Kal. The evil queen laid out Maj’s dreams, and then she asked, “So what do you think, Princess Kal?” Princess Maj held her breath, but even as she held her breath, she knew that all was lost. The evil queen simply laid out Maj’s dreams at the feet of Princess Kal and invited the younger princess to stomp all over those dreams until they were shards of dashedness, all sharp and dangerous. This last detail is important because who had to sweep up these sharp and dangerous dream shards? You guessed it . . . Princess Maj. So once upon a time there was a princess named Maj who plotted imaginarily to stab the younger Princess Kal with dream shards as the younger princess slept, figuring that the acid of the younger sister’s evil blood would dissolve those shards to nothingness, leaving no sign of the weapon. The evil queen would then change her ways and be sweet and loving to Princess Maj, because Princess Maj would point out in a quiet moment that dream shards are quite stabby and then Princess Maj would get to go rock-climbing all she wanted. The end.”
And here’s what happened right before this story . . .
“Hey, Maj?”
“Yes, Mother?”
“What do you want to do today?”
“Hmm. Oh, I know! Can we go down to Salem to that place that has the rock-climbing wall?”
“The place with the indoor pool and the water slides?”
“Yeah, but I don’t want to go in the pool or do the slides . . . too many germs . . . I just want to do the rock-climbing wall.”
“OK, but Kallan doesn’t like the rock-climbing wall. She’s going to want to do the pool.”
“I’m not going in the pool.”
“Whatever. Don’t tell Kallan that part of the plan. Once we get there, she’ll find some kids to play with, and she won’t care that you don’t want to go swimming. Don’t tell her you’re not going swimming until we get there.”
“So do I have to pack my bathing suit?”
“Yes, just in case you change your mind. You never know.”
“I’m not going to change my mind. Indoor pools are DIS-GUS-TING.”
“Seriously, Maj . . . do not talk when I present this plan to Kallan. If you tell her that she is going to have to swim by herself, she is going to throw a fit. If you aren’t both excited about going, the deal’s off. I am not going to listen to the two of you argue the whole drive down to Salem. Got it?”
“What’s to get? I’m not stupid, Mother.”
“So we understand one another? You are not to talk to Kallan about this plan. Don’t say anything and maybe she’ll even work up the courage to go rock climbing with you.”
“Got it.”
“Zero words, Maj.”
“Geez, Mother. I want to go rock-climbing. I AM NOT STUPID.”
I make a big zero shape with my two hands, “Zero words.”
“I HEARD YOU. I AM NOT GOING TO TALK. FOR GOD’S SAKE, MOTHER . . . I KNOW HOW TO NOT SAY THINGS.”
“Do you, Maj?”
“Really, Mother? How many times are you going to tell me not to talk? I get it.”
“OK, so let’s review. When will Kallan learn of the fact that you do not intend to join her in the swimming pool?”
“Not until we have driven to Salem and she has changed into her swimsuit and turns and asks me why I am not also in my swimsuit.”
“OK then.”
“Mother, you need to have a little more faith in me.”
“Whatever, Maj. Here comes Kallan. Do not say a word. Let me do the talking.” I greet Kallan with a smile, “So we were thinking of going down to Salem to that place that has the rock-climbing wall and the indoor pool. That work for you?”
Kallan looks at me, “Is that the place with the slides?”
I start to answer, but Maj interrupts me, “Yes, it’s the place with the indoor pool and the disgusting germy slides and you should know that I have no plans to go in the pool or on those slides with you so you’re on your own although I am sure Mother will supervise you so that you do not drown.”
Kallan’s face crumples, “But I don’t want to go swimming by myself! Please, Maj? Come swimming with me . . . please?”
I yell, “STOP TALKING, MAJ!” but Maj does not stop talking.
Maj stands with her hands on her hips, “Nope. No way I am swimming with you. No way. We’re really only going so that we can do the rock-climbing wall, so you should forget about the pool and just do the thing I have planned for you.”
Kallan wails, “But I don’t want to do the rock-climbing wall! It’s scary! And I like the pool! I want to do the slides, but I want to do them with you!”
Maj snorts in derision, “I’m not getting all infested with poo-water. You are such a baby. Scared of a wall, for goodness sake. What is wrong with you? Fine. You can just sit quietly in a chair and watch me have fun. No one needs you.”
And then Kallan runs screaming from the room.
Leaving Maj, who seems puzzled, “Mother, that did not go at all well. You should probably go up there and straighten that child out.”
I sigh, “I am so certain that I told you not to talk, Maj.”
“Wait. Are you trying to suggest that this is MY fault? You give her all the power and she gets to ruin everything and be a big tantrumming baby and this is somehow MY fault?”
“Maj, you have got to be kidding me right now.”
“So we’re not going rock-climbing? IS THAT WHAT YOU ARE TELLING ME?”
“That’s what I am telling you.”
Maj glares at me, “I do not believe this. You promised! Dream shards, Mother. Beware the dream shards.”
“Wait . . . what?”
She does not answer. Kallan weeps noisily from her bedroom on the floor above us. Maj stomps off into the living room and sits alone. I can hear Maj’s voice as she talks to no one in particular about the tragic events that have led to this moment, “Once upon a time there was a princess named Maj . . .”
The end.
