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Here in this small space that contains a smaller space in which a single seahorse undulates gently against thick ribbons of watery green, I am drowning. This will not do. I pull out my iPhone and flip through photos I have taken, staring blindly as I pull viscid air through my lips and down …Tethered
We went to the Oregon Brewers’ Festival today in Portland. It was a gorgeous day in a gorgeous park sandwiched between a gorgeous city and a gorgeous river into which I almost plunged my two gorgeous children, who were horrid. Somebody with a calendar and more sense than I please make a note to …Totes Sober Two politically incorrect children who are allegedly mine . . . “OK, so I was riding my bike in the park, you know that one that goes in a big circle through the woods alongside the river?” “Yeah?” “And there are all these people walking on the path, and I am all . . …It tolls for thee . . . My children, out of context and on vacation . . . . 1) OK, seriously . . . could that man’s muscly legs be spread any further apart? Tell him to scissor those puppies together so that Mexican family has a place to put their piñata. 2) Here’s the plan . . . wait …Cult of lax “Oh my Maj . . . The pool is empty, Mother.” “So?” “What did I tell you, Mother? I said only insane people swim at the crack of dawn. The pool is empty because no one else is insane, Mother. I told you I did not want to go swimming this morning, but here …Sullen Mime Hoedown |
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