Kallan pauses by the front door. “OK, so I’m off to do the meet and greet with the woman who needs a babysitter.”
“What’s her name … Kirsten?”
“Yup. She has two little kids.” Kallan stares intently at her phone, taps a few times.
“What are you doing?”
“Typing her address into Google Maps.”
“Doesn’t she live just down the street?”
“Google Maps says it’s three minutes away if I walk.” She looks up at me expectantly.
“You want to drive me?”
“You want to walk with me?”
“Seriously? Just wave at me from her front door when you arrive.”
“Very funny. You can’t actually see her house from here.”
“I’m busy … I know where she lives … if you’re not back in a half hour, I’ll wander over that way.”
“Way to muster the urgency, Mom.”
“What if I get hit by a car between here and there? What if a murderer gets me?”
“If you are unable to walk three minutes without being hit by a car or murdered by a maniac, you are completely unfit to be anyone’s babysitter.”
“Just saying. If you end up roadkill on your three-minute way to watch her children, I’d say Kirsten’s dodged a bullet.”
“Fine. What if I can’t find her address and I wander lost through the neighborhood?”
I stare at her.
She stares at me. “What?”
“While you’re gone, I’m going to remove our house numbers. No way you’ll ever find your way home. I’m letting you go feral with the raccoons.”
Kallan sighs. “I hope she doesn’t ask me about my nurturing role models, that’s all I’m saying.”
“Try not to make too much noise when you’re dumping over the trash cans tonight with your new family.”
She sighs again. “Good one, Mom.”