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We’re out and about today, and Mark buys this ridiculously large box of Junior Mints. You know . . . chocolate outside, creamy mint on the inside. Those. And so we’re driving, and it’s my job to hand these candies out. Which is lovely, because it affords me the opportunity to surreptitiously squeeze each …Unyielding mint First? That crazy juggling woman over there to the right of this screen? Click on her. My ego needs stroking, and I am all annoyed every time I go to that fucking Top Mommy Blogs site and see myself losing to giveaway-review-coupon blogs. Seriously . . . everyone above me is a free-shit whore. I have lost my wedding ring. It’s not really lost. It’s around here somewhere. It’s kind of lost. Sigh. I should not be trusted with small valuable items. I have a long history of irresponsibility where my wedding ring is concerned. Not long after I got married? I get sick, and I decide to …Silvered delirium The other day at Target, the girls and I did their back-to-school shopping. On the list? New backpacks for both girls. Kallan quickly collects all of the smaller items on her list and then announces she would like to buy a ball with her own money. She runs off to select the perfect bouncy …Expectations exceeded Last night. Mark and I are side by side, both at our desks. Both at our computers. Mark is all thoughtful, “Who do you know who you could call a crew slut?” “Excuse me?” “That would be a great thing to write about. You know . . . that Frank Zappa song?” “Ummm . …Just add water to make sauce |
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