Fightball: Dying of Suck

Book Cover: Fightball: Dying of Suck
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Fightball: Dying of Suck ... is the exaggerated and hyperbolic and mildly fictionalized story of Maj and Kallan, two wildly intelligent and hilarious sisters who navigate life from opposite ends of every point of view. Narrated by their mother, Fightball: Dying of Suck is a book about children for readers of all ages. This first installment of Fightball chronicles, as Maj describes it, "The time our family threw our lives up into the air and moved to Oregon." Kallan, who is prone to falsehoods, hints that there are vampires and dragons and magic spells (there are none of these), because, she insists, "Marketing is all about bait and switch."

A note to long-time readers of Pretty All True ... some of the stories in Fightball appeared first (and in altered form) on Pretty All True, although they have since been taken down. I offer this simply by way of disclosure, as Fightball: Dying of Suck stands on its own and then some.

Publisher: Pretty All True
Reviews:Bill Moore wrote:

I read. I laughed. I snorted. I coughed. I felt joy at the embrace of the crazy family I met five years ago. I made some notes. I laughed some more. I was soooooo happy. I think I read the book in three at bats over two days.

When I got to about page 150, out of the corner of my eye, I saw that the slider thing on the side of the laptop screen. It showed that I had less than half the book to go, and that made me so very sad, because I knew my joy and laughter was going to come to an end. Way. Too. Soon.

It did. And, boy, did you leave me wanting more!

Five stars, Kris.

The brilliance of your writing, to me, has always been that you have perfect pitch when it comes to dialogue. That is the rarest of gifts. The flow and word play and insanity of your brilliant children, and you being you, and Mark being him, are so very unique and wonderful. Making it look so easy is the hardest thing in the world to do.

At several points, when Maj was REALLY being Maj, it kept bringing crabby Lucy and Charlie Brown to mind. I could see a cartoon strip or MTV cartoon or whatever network does that kind of stuff now starring youse guys.

I could SO see that. If you did not have editorial/content control, you would hate the TV cartoon, but it would be ka-ching city if you did it. Maybe even Maj Action figures with VERY LOUD VOICE. And Kallan with a foxy slyness of mischief that makes you wait in anticipation for uber fun and trouble.


Sebastian Malloy wrote:

I love your children. I don't want them, but I love them. They are insane in the best possible way.

Nobody writes about children like you do. Nobody.

Fightball is MARVELOUS.

Aunt Cassidy wrote:


Seriously ... this book is excellent. You are an amazing writer.

Maj wrote:

"Mother, it's good. I actually laughed out loud a few times."

"Wait, you laughed out loud? My writing never makes you laugh out loud. That's AWESOME."

"Don't let it go to your head ... also, I made a list of typos and editing suggestions."


Kallan wrote:

"Mom, I'm telling people you are a raving lunatic who lives in a fantasy world and possibly I don't even know you."

"That's fine."

"As long as we're clear. And? I LOVE FIGHTBALL. I LOVE IT."


"Wait, is that the cover? A scribble? Seriously? WHY AM I NOT ON THE COVER?"

12 thoughts on “Fightball: Dying of Suck”

    1. Awww … you are lovely. Sent you an email, by the way … you got it?

      I feel as though I owe you a thousand thank-yous. You’ve been supportive of me and my words for … well … forever.

      Thank you.

  1. It’s 9:58 p.m., and I just turned the page for the next outrageously perfect chapter of Fightball, but then gasped. It was over. Minutes ago, I was here, a warm blanket across my lap, the radio in the background, reading parts aloud from Fightball to my children. They were looking up at me, and laughing out loud. They love the children, they love the mother, they sympathize with the father… until he insists he has the right to two beers at dinner. (“must he be so irresponsible, mother?” my children ask me) My children are Kris’ children, my husband is Kris’s husband, and I am Kris. Everyone with a family who unsuccessfully tries to be normal out there in the world, only to be found out otherwise, will fall in love with the daily life of Fightball. We all need company on this journey, and we all need a knowing nod sent our way to silently signal, “I see you there trying to figure it out, wondering why everyone is normal but you. But once you embrace the suck, it’s sure a lot of fun, isn’t it?” I ADORED FIGHTBALL and felt just as sad to see it end as I did reading it when I thought of the day these magical girls will be little no more.

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